sweetscarling

Hey darlings, thought I'd give you an update since its been a while... last week I had the week off and I took advantage of every moment. I revamped my living room to a groovy little retro den. Its now this really pretty aqua blue color. I have collected some vintage chachkas to decorate the room with too.. ITs Suhhh weeet!!

I have been so nutty lately ( more so than usual) I went to a friends house this past weekend for a party, and totally wigged out... major panic attack. ugh my social anxiety is getting so out of control. I cant deal with being in a crowded room trying to make boring small talk with complete strangers. I mostly just sat on the couch, arms crossed, legs crossed, shoulders up to my ears, and my brain bursting with anxiety.

Then this morning, I attacked my 8 foot light sculpture with a kitchen knife and cut the damn thing to ribbons... it made me feel better for like a second,but mostly it left me scared cause I have never done something like that before. I think the men in the white coats are knocking at my door.

There is some crazy stuff going on in my life which I am not at liberty to speak about ( which is killing me) and I cant help but feel alienated and alone. So I have been burying myself in work and trying to keep positive and productive ( this too is killing me)

Well I am glad I got to unleash some of these demons with you. Yep, I am totally crazy.. know any good meds?

maybe a labotamy.

Egh

mmkay, bye