Barry Lopez:
How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.
Dorothy Thompson:
Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow.
The past few months have been one hell of a ride and it's far from over. For those of you who do not know, GunNut and I have been dating for over a year now and moved in together back in July. Things were bumpy from the start. I was finally brave enough to leave a 5yr relationship. I carried over a lot of baggage. I've been hurt by everyone close to me... bfs, family, friends.. you name it. I guess we all have. I told myself I would never leave myself so vulnerable again. It simply was not worth it to me. I decided to only look out for yours truly. In the end, that's all I'll be left with. I can't say that when GunNut came around he completely swept me off of my feet and I opened up again. It was a struggle from the beginning. It takes a man and his army to tear my walls down and the slightest hint at betrayal will double them. You know when it's coming to an end and you tell the other exactly what you've been through with them... I have had the almost exact same conversation 3x now. I know and understand that there is some truth in what they are saying. I will never be satisfied living this way. I know at some point I will have to let go, let someone in and truly accept them. Where the hell does this courage and strength come from? Please tell me. It's hard to own up to everything you've become all of your actions. I am completely justified in being hurt and having hard feelings about my past. But at some point I'm going to have to accept it for what it is and move on. I am becoming what disgusted me most. I guess I've never really given myself that time/ chance to heal. I wouldn't dare show that weakness, which is my problem. Is it always going to be this way? What's the point of being in relationships if they aren't productive. If you fear being "like me" why on earth would you want to spend your days with me? Do you want to be the one to cure me? to heal my wounds? The thing is.. even if you had the ability, I would fight you every step of the way. What is a girl to do?
How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.
Dorothy Thompson:
Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow.
The past few months have been one hell of a ride and it's far from over. For those of you who do not know, GunNut and I have been dating for over a year now and moved in together back in July. Things were bumpy from the start. I was finally brave enough to leave a 5yr relationship. I carried over a lot of baggage. I've been hurt by everyone close to me... bfs, family, friends.. you name it. I guess we all have. I told myself I would never leave myself so vulnerable again. It simply was not worth it to me. I decided to only look out for yours truly. In the end, that's all I'll be left with. I can't say that when GunNut came around he completely swept me off of my feet and I opened up again. It was a struggle from the beginning. It takes a man and his army to tear my walls down and the slightest hint at betrayal will double them. You know when it's coming to an end and you tell the other exactly what you've been through with them... I have had the almost exact same conversation 3x now. I know and understand that there is some truth in what they are saying. I will never be satisfied living this way. I know at some point I will have to let go, let someone in and truly accept them. Where the hell does this courage and strength come from? Please tell me. It's hard to own up to everything you've become all of your actions. I am completely justified in being hurt and having hard feelings about my past. But at some point I'm going to have to accept it for what it is and move on. I am becoming what disgusted me most. I guess I've never really given myself that time/ chance to heal. I wouldn't dare show that weakness, which is my problem. Is it always going to be this way? What's the point of being in relationships if they aren't productive. If you fear being "like me" why on earth would you want to spend your days with me? Do you want to be the one to cure me? to heal my wounds? The thing is.. even if you had the ability, I would fight you every step of the way. What is a girl to do?
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
the_swill:
You're welcome. Thanks for the compliment!
irish_judoka:
anytime...you are a very good looking gal.