thanks everyone for the nice comments and messages about my last blog 
two nights ago zach got really drunk.... i mean REALLY. i had to practically drag him 10 blocks from the bar to his place...
he invited me to hang out with him. he told me he wouldn't drink. i got to his apartment, called him, and he said "oh, i'm actually at the bar". so much for not drinking. i could go on and on about the details, but i'll sum it up if i can. he got drunk, i took him back to take care of him and make sure he got to bed safe before i headed home. we got to his room and as he tried to get to his desk to turn on some music, he knocked a metal chair into me and didn't realize it. now i'm a tough person, i mean i'm used to pain and all. but that hit my knee in one of those places where it just fucking hurts no matter how tough you are. so i'll admit, i cried. hurt like a bitch. he was too drunk to know what he did or even apologize. so.. i got him in bed, got him water, tucked him in, and kissed him goodbye. as i head for the door he gets up all pissed off that i won't spend the night with him. he got really pissed and wouldn't even look at me. i stayed for a few more minutes cuz he looked like he was gonna puke and i wanted to make sure he was okay. so i get up to leave, yet again, and this time he won't even kiss me goodbye or look at me or say anything.
i left. got home. saw 6 voicemails from him, all drunken gibberish.
the next day he texted me and said "no more drinking". no apologies, nothing....
i'm getting sick of being his nurse. i'm sick of having to forgive him for all of these problems and push them aside just because he was too drunk to remember. i'm sick of hearing him tell me i'm pretty, and nothing else. i'm sick of wondering if he even likes me. i'm sick of going out with him and having him assume every guy is staring at me and checking me out. i'm sick of him not trusting me. i'm sick of being sick.
and i'm sick of complaining. i hate when people complain, yet here i am... being a hypocrite.
two nights ago zach got really drunk.... i mean REALLY. i had to practically drag him 10 blocks from the bar to his place...
he invited me to hang out with him. he told me he wouldn't drink. i got to his apartment, called him, and he said "oh, i'm actually at the bar". so much for not drinking. i could go on and on about the details, but i'll sum it up if i can. he got drunk, i took him back to take care of him and make sure he got to bed safe before i headed home. we got to his room and as he tried to get to his desk to turn on some music, he knocked a metal chair into me and didn't realize it. now i'm a tough person, i mean i'm used to pain and all. but that hit my knee in one of those places where it just fucking hurts no matter how tough you are. so i'll admit, i cried. hurt like a bitch. he was too drunk to know what he did or even apologize. so.. i got him in bed, got him water, tucked him in, and kissed him goodbye. as i head for the door he gets up all pissed off that i won't spend the night with him. he got really pissed and wouldn't even look at me. i stayed for a few more minutes cuz he looked like he was gonna puke and i wanted to make sure he was okay. so i get up to leave, yet again, and this time he won't even kiss me goodbye or look at me or say anything.
i left. got home. saw 6 voicemails from him, all drunken gibberish.
the next day he texted me and said "no more drinking". no apologies, nothing....
i'm getting sick of being his nurse. i'm sick of having to forgive him for all of these problems and push them aside just because he was too drunk to remember. i'm sick of hearing him tell me i'm pretty, and nothing else. i'm sick of wondering if he even likes me. i'm sick of going out with him and having him assume every guy is staring at me and checking me out. i'm sick of him not trusting me. i'm sick of being sick.
and i'm sick of complaining. i hate when people complain, yet here i am... being a hypocrite.
Still love.