sweetnepenthe

just when i think i'm a cold-hearted bitch, i find myself crying for half of an hour in my car driving home.
i don't know why i let myself believe that i'm worthy of something so ... fuck i don't even know. wonderful? i can't think of a decent word. my mind is a mashed potato spewing pathetic hopes and dreams my way.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.
I'm worried I've risked too much. <3
EDIT:
i'm deleting most of my friends. I realize that I have over 200, but only talk to less than half. I used to think rejecting a friend request was mean, but who gives a shit, it's just a fucking website. So... if I delete you, don't get pissed. Just message me or something.

Metaphor
You stole my pure intentions.
You are the sickness in between.
Let me in, I'll bury the pain.

You taught me to be sad as you.
You almost made me take it all.
Let me in, I'll bury the pain.

The sickness that you are,
a plague that made me starve.
Do you think you can show me,
how I got this far?

You bend me and you shake me,
you beg me then you break me.
Let me in, I'll bury the pain

You made me feel like a sinner.
Now you fear you'll die alone.
Let me in, I'll bury the pain

The sickness that you are,
a plague that made me starve.
Do you think you can show me
how I got this far?

I feel it's taking over,
and everything falls dark.
Break me open, the desperate cry.

The sickness that you are,
a plague that made me starve.
Do you think you can show me
how I got this far?