sweetnepenthe

i found some inspiration.
in a very dark and honestly scary place.
confronting suppressed memories will hopefully lead to something. i need something, anything. i'm clawing at my mind as desperately as if i were buried alive, clawing my way through a coffin.

i told a little lie.
funny how it turns around and then i find i'm lying to myself to stay alive.
everybody makes mistakes;
i'm told mine was never pulling the trigger.

there is nothing more gratifying at this moment than proving everybody wrong.
For man, maximum excitement is the confrontation of death and the skillful defiance of it by watching others fed to it as he survives transfixed with rapture.



So I feel, yes I feel the need
To lock myself up in a room
Squirt some morphine into my veins
To leave this cruel world for a while
And when I close my eyes
I find myself somewhere else
In a world built on illusions
Where compulsions are expelled
**
A golden mirror for my soul
Will be injected through a syringe
Slowly creeping up my vein
To hit the center of myself