Mondays suck... Well this one does, snowy and windy out, should have just stayed in bed...
Anyways, according to my therapist I don't share my emotions enough. I agree and it is due to feeling vulnerable and possibly weak.
I was picked on a lot as a child and when I was I didn't react, as they say that bullies are looking for a reaction out of you. Because of this I just cannot react to any kind of confrontation. I don't show emotion whether happy or sad and it kills me... to not feel when I want to.
Worst of it comes from just not wanting to confront and continue to fight back in relationships. My ex-fiancee pushed all of her wants on me. We got engaged because she wanted to, I drove myself deep into emotional distress because I tried to carry all of her issues on my shoulders. I feel that others shouldn't be in pain, I can take it... turns out I couldn't.
I felt so emotionally used from the whole relationship, the weird thing is we are still together just not engaged anymore.
I want to help her get herself together, but all there is from her is want. She didn't finish school, for the whole two years her and I have been together, she cannot hold onto a job. Her family just passes off all of her problems, the only one I feel is there for her emotionally is me... and I beat myself up when I have to say no to something...
Some days I feel like ending it, but right now it is fun to be dating her again as all the awkward moments are not there... I don't need to get to know her, I know her and all the good and all the bad....
I honestly don't know where to go with it all.
Anyways, according to my therapist I don't share my emotions enough. I agree and it is due to feeling vulnerable and possibly weak.
I was picked on a lot as a child and when I was I didn't react, as they say that bullies are looking for a reaction out of you. Because of this I just cannot react to any kind of confrontation. I don't show emotion whether happy or sad and it kills me... to not feel when I want to.
Worst of it comes from just not wanting to confront and continue to fight back in relationships. My ex-fiancee pushed all of her wants on me. We got engaged because she wanted to, I drove myself deep into emotional distress because I tried to carry all of her issues on my shoulders. I feel that others shouldn't be in pain, I can take it... turns out I couldn't.
I felt so emotionally used from the whole relationship, the weird thing is we are still together just not engaged anymore.
I want to help her get herself together, but all there is from her is want. She didn't finish school, for the whole two years her and I have been together, she cannot hold onto a job. Her family just passes off all of her problems, the only one I feel is there for her emotionally is me... and I beat myself up when I have to say no to something...
Some days I feel like ending it, but right now it is fun to be dating her again as all the awkward moments are not there... I don't need to get to know her, I know her and all the good and all the bad....
I honestly don't know where to go with it all.
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It seems that this year they wanted a champion with the face of steroids.
Anyway, nobody takes this beautiful feeling of the heart ....
And I was winning, actually win a lot for my personal growth...
thank you for visit my blog
here in my country is very difficult to engage in this kind of tournaments, the prize you must consider yourself, there is no kind of recognition or help for an upcoming initiative
costs and make the sacrifice that really works from the inside out, there are many obstacles, and the emotional part is everything, I can say that achieves balance my body and my mind, this year work tolerance and self-confidence ....Now im so happy