I have been awfully quiet online. It's been a time of hard work and self-reflection. I've been working on personal growth and trying to make a bigger contribution at work.
And then I got this idea that I would build a house. I know this sounds like a harebrain idea, but in Los Angeles you can't buy a house unless you're wealthy, which I'm not. I have only one income. It's above the median income for my neighborhood ... but the median home price here is over $500K. And come on! Who would want to buy a house in my crappy ghetto neighborhood anyway?
Sooo ... I have been investigating this idea in earnest. Apparently I can build a house for less than 1/2 the cost of buying one, and with any luck I can do it in the hills where I have always wanted to live.
So then I figured that I better start looking at stuff. My credit is okay. It could be better. Mostly it could be corrected with paydowns on unsecured credit, but where to get the money for that?
They offered me a raise yesterday. They offered $5K but I turned it down. I want $15K. My boss was upset but he said he would think about it. I prepared an amazing report that demonstrated how I save the company over $2K per month since I've been in the position of Controller. I mean, come on ... split the difference with me. So another week of waiting...
There are other problems. You can pretty much get a construction loan for 100% but you need a down payment for land. So what do I do with the extra income? Pay down my credit and boost my credit score? Or save for a down payment?
Then it dawned on me that I haven't paid my taxes in 3 years. Yeah, yeah, I know. I have no good reason for this. Stupidity? Laziness? Fear? Probably mostly fear, which I hide quite well, but I operate under frequently. I've been tackling a lot of fear issues lately so what's the worst thing that could happen if I actually file my taxes? Learn that I owe thousands and that my plans will be put on hold for another year? So I spent the last 5 hours computing my 2004, 2005 and 2006 taxes.
WEIRD! They owe me something like $5,500!!!
I'm glad I didn't do it before. That's my down payment on the land. I would have just wasted it on tattoos, travel, shoes and weed if I had done it a year or two ago.
AND when we do actually come up with my new compensation plan, it will go back retroactively to April 1st. It will actually be a performance based bonus plan, paid quarterly, so I will get a nice extra lump of money every few months. The 1st payment alone will tackle at least a couple credit cards and if I win and get my $15K, it will do up to 4 or 5 of them! Yay!
So now all I have to do is find a lot. That's easier said than done in the neighborhood where I'm looking. I mean, raw land is pretty plentiful but the nightmares of getting funding for raw land and then all the permits and crap ... I dunno. Nice finished lots are as expensive as a 4 or 5 bedroom house in many other parts of the country. So MAYBE I can find raw land that's fairly flat and clear and close to utilities. Wish me luck!
And this means that I get to spend the weekend driving around in the canyons with the top down, looking, looking, looking...
You know, it was one year ago today that I was leaving for vacation, ALONE, because my boyfriend had just dumped me unexpectedly 4 days earlier. I never thought I would survive. I cried so much it's a wonder that I didn't die of dehydration. But, it was that vacation that led to my sobriety ... and it was my sobriety that led to clear thinking ... and it was clear thinking that led to making better choices. My sobriety date is 6/6/06 ... not an evil day at all! It turned out to be the start of a whole new life with brand new dreams.
Love to you,
~Suzy
And then I got this idea that I would build a house. I know this sounds like a harebrain idea, but in Los Angeles you can't buy a house unless you're wealthy, which I'm not. I have only one income. It's above the median income for my neighborhood ... but the median home price here is over $500K. And come on! Who would want to buy a house in my crappy ghetto neighborhood anyway?
Sooo ... I have been investigating this idea in earnest. Apparently I can build a house for less than 1/2 the cost of buying one, and with any luck I can do it in the hills where I have always wanted to live.
So then I figured that I better start looking at stuff. My credit is okay. It could be better. Mostly it could be corrected with paydowns on unsecured credit, but where to get the money for that?
They offered me a raise yesterday. They offered $5K but I turned it down. I want $15K. My boss was upset but he said he would think about it. I prepared an amazing report that demonstrated how I save the company over $2K per month since I've been in the position of Controller. I mean, come on ... split the difference with me. So another week of waiting...
There are other problems. You can pretty much get a construction loan for 100% but you need a down payment for land. So what do I do with the extra income? Pay down my credit and boost my credit score? Or save for a down payment?
Then it dawned on me that I haven't paid my taxes in 3 years. Yeah, yeah, I know. I have no good reason for this. Stupidity? Laziness? Fear? Probably mostly fear, which I hide quite well, but I operate under frequently. I've been tackling a lot of fear issues lately so what's the worst thing that could happen if I actually file my taxes? Learn that I owe thousands and that my plans will be put on hold for another year? So I spent the last 5 hours computing my 2004, 2005 and 2006 taxes.
WEIRD! They owe me something like $5,500!!!
I'm glad I didn't do it before. That's my down payment on the land. I would have just wasted it on tattoos, travel, shoes and weed if I had done it a year or two ago.
AND when we do actually come up with my new compensation plan, it will go back retroactively to April 1st. It will actually be a performance based bonus plan, paid quarterly, so I will get a nice extra lump of money every few months. The 1st payment alone will tackle at least a couple credit cards and if I win and get my $15K, it will do up to 4 or 5 of them! Yay!
So now all I have to do is find a lot. That's easier said than done in the neighborhood where I'm looking. I mean, raw land is pretty plentiful but the nightmares of getting funding for raw land and then all the permits and crap ... I dunno. Nice finished lots are as expensive as a 4 or 5 bedroom house in many other parts of the country. So MAYBE I can find raw land that's fairly flat and clear and close to utilities. Wish me luck!
And this means that I get to spend the weekend driving around in the canyons with the top down, looking, looking, looking...
You know, it was one year ago today that I was leaving for vacation, ALONE, because my boyfriend had just dumped me unexpectedly 4 days earlier. I never thought I would survive. I cried so much it's a wonder that I didn't die of dehydration. But, it was that vacation that led to my sobriety ... and it was my sobriety that led to clear thinking ... and it was clear thinking that led to making better choices. My sobriety date is 6/6/06 ... not an evil day at all! It turned out to be the start of a whole new life with brand new dreams.
Love to you,
~Suzy
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Hugs!!
Haven't heard from you in ages. Hope you're doing alright.
Squashed tomatoes and stew
Bread and butter in the gutter
Happy birthday to you.
Hope you're having an outstanding birthday with lots of oral pleasure!