susannahjoy

ok so yeah. i broke up with colin. it sucked a lot. i cried. i just hope that it's for the best.

and i'm sick. *cough cough*

and i'm losing weight! yay! i'm finally under 130 for the first time in forever. of course, now i dont have a cute boy to show it off to. whatever.

ok so really this time. i'm going to talk to colin and tell him that i just can't handle this whole dating thing cuz it brings out the absoulte worst in me, so he can either be my boyfriend or that's it. i cant keep dating him like this. and i cant just be friends after all that we've either. which really sucks cuz he's...
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tonight rocked. i think maybe i can stick with this whole waitress thing. yay!

mmm... yummy. i made some soup! like, actually made it! well, ok i used veggie broth, but other than that! i cut up all my veggies and everything. it's still cooking now though. and oh man, it is some spicy soup. lol. i like peppers! especially little orange ones.

so yeah. that's really about it. i'm going to camarillo for thanksgiving, which is awesome cuz...
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yeah so work last night really really really really sucked. i'm not sure if i'm meant to be a server. ugh. at least then colin took me to see hp, which was fun, except that i started feeling sick so by the end of it it was painful to watch cuz my head hurt too much and then of course colin was all disappointed cuz...
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ugh, these drugs make me sick. i dont know if i'll be able to keep takign them. i mean, i like feeling sick cuz then it means that i dont eat and i've lost a couple pounds already, but i dont think that's really the healthiest thing to do, physically or mentally. we'll see.

colin just called. i called him last night and he told...
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yeah so my doctor told me that i need to lose about 10 lbs. see! i told you i'm fat! i dont know why everyone feels the need to lie and say that i'm not, but whatever.

i feel sick. i dont think i can take my meds on an empty stomach. i feel like ing.

hmm... yeah that's about it.

so has anyone here ever been on celexa? any thoughts about it? i met with some guy yesterday and he gave me that. and some sleeping pills. i'm hoping it'll help... he seemed to know what he was talking about. i think he was a nurse practioner (which is practically a doctor) who specializes in psych meds. well, i know that's what he specializes in....
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yeah so i got some drugs for crazy people yesterday. we'll see if they help at all. and yeah, suddenly i dont feel like updating this. so i'm just gonna stop now.

so yeah. i think i need to break it off with colin. i'm just realyl tired of the mixed messages and lying and everything else that he does. i complained that i never get to see him during the weekends cuz he's always with her, so he says "ok, well i have the next weekend completely off, which isnt going to happen again until after...
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