susan_

Death Cab For Cutie.

So this is a really hard month on me. Even though it's been two years now he still gets to me. I can't help but have a big heart towards him, even as much as he hurt me. Physically and emotionally. He was my first love, and everything I learn was from him and him from me. Everything about this month just reminds me of him. The first gift I ever bought him before we dated, Atreyu, our anniversary, special events, the ending. It was raining really hard last night, and lightening any the power was out. I layed down and tried to listen to Death cab for Cutie but every lyric I heard reminded me of him and I just broke down crying. I used to think I was fine and then he starts doing the childish things that make him who he is and it just gets to me and crawls under my skin. I hate him so much that it makes me hold on. I am going to drive myself insane this month. This is why I need you so much closer...