surreal_

I'm seriously getting tired of people (read: some douche-canoe photographers) telling me I'm fat. I may have a little bit more to love, but that doesn't make me "fat." And I definitely don't appreciate being told this AT A PHOTOSHOOT that's designed by its very definition to make me feel sexy and beautiful (boudoir.) I really should have left after he made me feel like dogshit, but I seem to have a problem with not walking out despite being made to feel bad. I actually cried once I got home because he'd done such a number on me, making me feel like I should be grateful he'd deign to work with such a fat worthless nobody as me. Thank the Gods for my Beast, he got me through it with much reassurances that I'm not fat, not ugly, and that the other photographer must be blind.

Needless to say, I will not be working with said photographer again. And the fact that he thinks his shit doesn't stink when he's a 'big fish in a small pond' after moving to Montana from the East Coast makes him even less likeable to me. I know quite a few models and photographers from the East Coast, and I <3 these guys because I have yet to see any ego that isn't deserved from them. This guy, on the other hand, I have yet to see anything that to my eye means he deserves to have the giant ego he's walking around with. Even the paltry two images I got back from our shoot looked like they were only decent if used as "behind-the-scenes" looks.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love to model. And I realize I'm not the skinny twig I used to be, but now I actually feel like I have curves and look good. And that attitude, when not in the presence of someone who thinks otherwise and is taking the photos, definitely shows itself in my images. Feel free to take a look at my portfolio, you'll see what I mean. From now on, though, I'll be even more cautious about who I choose to work with, especially in a genre that means I'm baring all.