So, I got a little melancholy this weekend owing to something that happened last year at this time.
I had met a girl through another website, M. She lives in San Diego. She's nine years younger, cute, very SG. We'd met in person and kept in touch every so often via email. We'd planned to go with a group of other friends to Disneyland. That fell through. Finally, she said she was going to Knotts Scary Farm with a friend of hers and invited me. There were minor flirtations, but mostly I thought I was reading WAY into a situation that didn't exist. I tend to do that, making a total lamewad out of myself.
A week later, I was getting ready to go to my friends annual Halloween party when she called me. She wanted to know if she could drive up in her hearse for a little road trip--she drove a hearse(!), which perhaps help explain why I was a littel yearn-y. I stammered sure...when? "Tonight." I said OK, got off the phone and my insides turned gooey.
She arrived and we got dressed up in costumes...she was an awesome Bride of Frankenstein. We went to my friends party, and she got a little self-conscious about being in a house full of people she didn't know. I get exactly the same way, so we took a walk around the block and M said she really just wanted to spend some time with me.
I blew off all my friends as quickly as I could and we went back to my place. We talked and watched 'Army of Darkness,' but she eventually fell asleep on my bed. I watched the end of the movie...turned the lights out and crawled beside her--my back to her, keeping a respectful distance. Then she turned over and said the words I'll never forget as long as I have brain matter.
"It's OK if you want to touch me."
Needless to say, I did. Best Halloween Weekend. Ever. However, I did kind of think in the back of my mind that this was a one time deal...which caused me to try way too hard to be the most awesome lover, friend, funny cool guy ever...and flailing miserably at all of them...as is my usual method.
So, we spent Sunday in each others arms watching 'House of 1000 Corpses.' Now, you may think that's silly, retarded and/or cute in a silly retarded way, but it was the closest I've been to contented, romantic moment in a long, long time. We hugged, kissed and she drove home in the hearse.
I spent a week all giddy. Then as happened, I had a business meeting the following Monday in San Diego. So, I drove down Saturday to spend the weekend with M. Then the requsite anvil fell:
"I just want to be friends."
Instincts can be good...but they can also blow, especially if they're right. We still hung out...possibly not the best idea. It wound up being one of the Worst Weekends. Ever. (Funny how life's pendulum swings like that that.)
She really broke my heart, because I didn't think I'd ever find anyone cool and gorgeous who liked the same weird crap I do. My heart kicked my brain in the nuts and made a run for it.
Anyway, last year at this time was my last time...for a lot of things. And so Mr. Fate of Love, I'd like another chance soon please and for a little longer, if you don't mind. You cock.
I had met a girl through another website, M. She lives in San Diego. She's nine years younger, cute, very SG. We'd met in person and kept in touch every so often via email. We'd planned to go with a group of other friends to Disneyland. That fell through. Finally, she said she was going to Knotts Scary Farm with a friend of hers and invited me. There were minor flirtations, but mostly I thought I was reading WAY into a situation that didn't exist. I tend to do that, making a total lamewad out of myself.
A week later, I was getting ready to go to my friends annual Halloween party when she called me. She wanted to know if she could drive up in her hearse for a little road trip--she drove a hearse(!), which perhaps help explain why I was a littel yearn-y. I stammered sure...when? "Tonight." I said OK, got off the phone and my insides turned gooey.
She arrived and we got dressed up in costumes...she was an awesome Bride of Frankenstein. We went to my friends party, and she got a little self-conscious about being in a house full of people she didn't know. I get exactly the same way, so we took a walk around the block and M said she really just wanted to spend some time with me.
I blew off all my friends as quickly as I could and we went back to my place. We talked and watched 'Army of Darkness,' but she eventually fell asleep on my bed. I watched the end of the movie...turned the lights out and crawled beside her--my back to her, keeping a respectful distance. Then she turned over and said the words I'll never forget as long as I have brain matter.
"It's OK if you want to touch me."
Needless to say, I did. Best Halloween Weekend. Ever. However, I did kind of think in the back of my mind that this was a one time deal...which caused me to try way too hard to be the most awesome lover, friend, funny cool guy ever...and flailing miserably at all of them...as is my usual method.
So, we spent Sunday in each others arms watching 'House of 1000 Corpses.' Now, you may think that's silly, retarded and/or cute in a silly retarded way, but it was the closest I've been to contented, romantic moment in a long, long time. We hugged, kissed and she drove home in the hearse.
I spent a week all giddy. Then as happened, I had a business meeting the following Monday in San Diego. So, I drove down Saturday to spend the weekend with M. Then the requsite anvil fell:
"I just want to be friends."
Instincts can be good...but they can also blow, especially if they're right. We still hung out...possibly not the best idea. It wound up being one of the Worst Weekends. Ever. (Funny how life's pendulum swings like that that.)
She really broke my heart, because I didn't think I'd ever find anyone cool and gorgeous who liked the same weird crap I do. My heart kicked my brain in the nuts and made a run for it.
Anyway, last year at this time was my last time...for a lot of things. And so Mr. Fate of Love, I'd like another chance soon please and for a little longer, if you don't mind. You cock.
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
maybe knowing that you are sleeping warmly in your bed while I go off into the still dark dawn to face certain dental torture will make you feel better.
*ponders* there's something wrong with that sentence, but my brain's been removed and my head filled with some sorta sanitized fluff.
ps. did you listen to any of the Oh Susannah?
edit: apparently I'm really out of it. I substituted dead for bed.
[Edited on Oct 27, 2004 4:24AM]
ps. I forgot to mention, there are samples in the discography section.
[Edited on Oct 27, 2004 4:28AM]