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suri

Philadelphia, PA

SG Since 2006

Followers 5482 Following 1880

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Thursday Aug 04, 2011

Aug 3, 2011
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Hello my bonzais and cherry tomatoes,



Did you guys know I grew a roommate? Her name is Connie, and if you are friends with me on the twitter I talk about her/to her all the time. She is going through a break up with this weiner of a dude, so mostly I get her blitzed. And we gossip.


Did I tell you guys about Lamaze class? The hospital provides what it calls a lamaze class, but its mostly a birth primer for people who (as far as I can tell) have gotten to 7 months pregnant and have not read a single book on the subject. I think I met my arch nemesis in that class, she managed to be judgmental and dumb and either give me the stink eye, or have one of those faces that naturally gives everyone the stink eye. Oddly I don't find one more forgivable then the other.

Homegirl asked if she was to skinny to give birth, while stink eyeing me, she also thought gas was braxton hicks contractions. (if you don't know what those are its cool, but they are mentioned in every book about pregnancy, so she should know) she also asked what a placenta is. Is this a Phiwy (thats how they say it) thing or as anyone else been in a class full of pregnant dummies.?

I HATE dumb wealthy people. I have some class issues I need to sort out.

Pregnancy is going great, i am a giantess (ill try to as pictures later) and my belly button looks like an asshole.

My boobs are presenting tiny amounts of sticky milk. Its kinda marbled and smells sweet and floral. Its kinda neat to discover a body fluid that is not gross.

Do you guys have arch Nemeses? tell me about them!

VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
perdita:
I had an arch-nemesis! We worked together for a semester at a tutoring center...I didn't do a goddamn thing to her, and yet, she was so awful to me, we had to have non-overlapping schedules, and the very few times we did work together, it was AWFUL. I still hate her to this day, it was very satisfying to reject her facebook friend request.

I'm glad to hear pregnancy is going great, I hope it keeps treating you well!
Aug 5, 2011
vidalia:
I'm going to have to side with Azkadillia here and say Janice Dickinson. She came into the smoothie store I worked at and told me I was sweeping poorly and told my friend to get a manicure.

Also I once waitressed for like a month in an Indian food restaurant, but I quit because the boss kept blaming me for chipping the cheap plates he bought even though it was the customers' doing, and then he got mad at me for speaking French with a customer... He may also be my arch-nemesis.

Or wait, no, my arch-nemesis is my ex-roommate, who's poorly trained dog broke into my dog's food in a sealed bag in the cupboard, ate a ton of it, and then shit all over the house. My roommate's response was to threaten to sue me for damages two months later. puke

Let's just say that there is a whole team of super-villains out there waiting to be disposed of!

Your roommate, on the other hand, sounds wonderful. And I'm sure that the other tiny roommate, who you are expecting soon, will be even better! Just minus the boozing and with more boobie action. smile
Aug 5, 2011

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