surgicalsnack

so there i was, in a warehouse full of wood and metal and weird fabrics. the scent of sawdust and plastic assaulted my nostrils like tiny marines made of stink. i was there for one thing. a sofa. well, maybe two things. i was also hoping to pick up a chair, but i'll deny that to my dying breath.

roberto was a nice man, but finding nemo was his favorite movie, and he had an almost feverish love of explaining cushions. he brushed dust off of a squarish chair coated with "soft suede", and insisted that i sit in it. i did. it was good. my buns tested many a cushion in that short hour. lime green couches. zebra stripes with crushed velvet. a chair shaped like a shoe. a chair shaped like a wax letter "J" that had been left out in the sun too long. i was regaled with tales of dire modifications, like the chair that had to be constructed with extra-strong webbing instead of regular cushions, to keep overweight strippers from breaking it. we all had a good laugh at that image. i mean, webbing is just FUNNY, you know?

in the end, i was persuaded to part with some of my money (made from smuggling patchouli over the border in "helper monkeys" from paraguay), and i purchased a blue sofa in "soft suede", which is like regular suede, only softer, and in fact, nothing like suede at all, either in look or in texture. but it has alliteration going for it, so i had to buy it. i also purchased a matching chair for lounging around in. i did some test lounging, and it was good, so in the basket it went. it was a large basket.

i will pick it up next weekend in a large truck with help from a friend, and then i will put it in my house, and then i will sit on it.

isn't that a lovely story? i left out the part about the walrus, but i still think it's pretty great, even without the walrus.