Yow. And Wowsers. That's about all I can say right now. So here are your horoscopes for today. If you like them, maybe I'll write some more later.
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Aries
Don't touch anything with your elbows today, and avoid grass of any kind. Cancer has a surprise for you, but you won't like it. Wear something leather and...uncomplicated.
Gemini
You're going to be a real dick to someone today. Cheese will cause a problem for you this afternoon, but that's ok, because you won't be able to answer the door when the Scientologists come by. Drink a lot of tea - you'll be up late. A little Vaporub for the morning wouldn't hurt, either.
Capricorn
Signs are murky for Capricorn today. You're either going to be attacked by a kitten or a mitten. Pray it's the kitten - you don't know where that mitten has been. Someone will ask you for a quarter today. Give it to them, or they'll stalk you for a week and a half and then stab you in a parking lot.
Cancer
You'll run into Aries today. Make sure you bring lube. And remember that "No" means "no". This is important - you won't be able to sit down for a week if you decide that it means "Yes, go ahead and put that there."
Sagittarius
Lay off the knitting for the day. Also, you might want to look under the couch. The cat has been storing birds there for about a month.
Arthur
No one cares about you. Die already. And stop wasting so much money on kleenexes, you fucking crybaby.
Mars
The moon is in your seventh house, which means that you need to go out tonight, get loaded, and say a lot of really amazingly inappropriate things. I would tell you that you're going to get the clap tonight, but you wouldn't believe me, because that's just how you are. Your high pitched squealing at the moment of release is not, in fact, attractive in the slightest.
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And here's today's photo:
the swinger prepares
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Aries
Don't touch anything with your elbows today, and avoid grass of any kind. Cancer has a surprise for you, but you won't like it. Wear something leather and...uncomplicated.
Gemini
You're going to be a real dick to someone today. Cheese will cause a problem for you this afternoon, but that's ok, because you won't be able to answer the door when the Scientologists come by. Drink a lot of tea - you'll be up late. A little Vaporub for the morning wouldn't hurt, either.
Capricorn
Signs are murky for Capricorn today. You're either going to be attacked by a kitten or a mitten. Pray it's the kitten - you don't know where that mitten has been. Someone will ask you for a quarter today. Give it to them, or they'll stalk you for a week and a half and then stab you in a parking lot.
Cancer
You'll run into Aries today. Make sure you bring lube. And remember that "No" means "no". This is important - you won't be able to sit down for a week if you decide that it means "Yes, go ahead and put that there."
Sagittarius
Lay off the knitting for the day. Also, you might want to look under the couch. The cat has been storing birds there for about a month.
Arthur
No one cares about you. Die already. And stop wasting so much money on kleenexes, you fucking crybaby.
Mars
The moon is in your seventh house, which means that you need to go out tonight, get loaded, and say a lot of really amazingly inappropriate things. I would tell you that you're going to get the clap tonight, but you wouldn't believe me, because that's just how you are. Your high pitched squealing at the moment of release is not, in fact, attractive in the slightest.
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And here's today's photo:
the swinger prepares
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
nice answer to my entry by the way. i can see that in you.
This is most certainly an earth-shattering entanglement.