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surcease

Member Since 2006

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Wednesday Aug 09, 2006

Aug 9, 2006
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I posted this in the G.O. group, but I just wonder what anyone else thought. I just need some advice because my head hurts thinking about this.

I ended my friendship with my best friend for 5 yrs at the beginning of this summer. It was a huge bloody diaster. I felt that she hated me and when into a downward spiral. I was depressed and didn't want to live anymore. How could I go on if my best friend wanted nothing to do with me?--that type of thinking.

Well I'm finally doing better. The other day I talked to her because we are going to the same school and have one class together and I hoped we could be civil to each other. Well we talked and had so much fun (or so I thought). I even said we should make plans to hang out again. We were supposed to Thurs. I thought everything that happened was behind us, that we've moved on.

Today I text her to make sure we are still on for thursday. She says no. There is no explaination, just she can't hang out tomorrow anymore. Later I get to thinking, she didn't seem that interested when we spent time together the first time. Maybe she doesn't even want to be friends. So I text her asking she even wanted to be friends.

She replies that she never said we were friends, she can't handle a full blown friendship with me. She doesn't mind talking to me during class or maybe going to lunch or something occasionally but she doesn't want a full blown friendship.

Now I feel horrid and am fighting with her because I didn't realize how stupid I was. I thought we were friends again and didn't even realize that she didn't want to be. I feel so depressed and just want to cry. She's not talking to me right now. She told me that all I bring into her life is drama and she doesn't even know if she can handle it right now or ever.

Am I over reacting? Am I just being paranoid? Should I give her room and just be friends when she wants to be and not the rest of the time? I just want some advice about how I should take the whole situation. Am I reading to much into it? Gaah.. I hate feeling like this.

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