you might think this one is mean, but well, it is.
when you fly all the time, you get a good routine at every airport, and on the plane. like you know the layout of airports, so you know where to go with out looking, and who has free wifi, what restraints are good, which flight attendants to flirt with to get free booze, blah blah blah. i have most of this down to a science. i'm still working on the free booze, but i have had it happen 2 times now. oh and phoenix is the best airport that i know of. good mexican food place with a bar, and the only airport with free wifi. so anyways, i have 2 reasons i hate flying. here they are:
1. little kids
i am a firm believer in the idea that no one should fly until the age of 15. the reason being is kids play with stuff, scream, kick the chair in front of them, ask questions non-stop, and any other thing you can come up with that should not be done on a plane. this one was not as bad as most. more than anything if parents would pay more attention to there kids, it would not be so bad, but noooooo they have to let them run wild on airplanes. why do you do this?
2. old people
funny thing about old people, they are just like kids. oh and they smell like old people. i'm not to into that smell. they always want to talk to you. always. they are also very very slow when getting on and off the plane. that is the worst thing about them. i mean it takes forever to get on and off, but when you have a gang of old people in front of you, fuck it. just set your alarm and go back to sleep for an hour.
i'm going to write a how to book about how not to suck at flying. it will be 4 easy steps.
1. get on fast.
2. when taking off, go to sleep at around 10,000 feet.
3. when landing, wake up at about 10,000 feet.
4. get off fast.
when you fly all the time, you get a good routine at every airport, and on the plane. like you know the layout of airports, so you know where to go with out looking, and who has free wifi, what restraints are good, which flight attendants to flirt with to get free booze, blah blah blah. i have most of this down to a science. i'm still working on the free booze, but i have had it happen 2 times now. oh and phoenix is the best airport that i know of. good mexican food place with a bar, and the only airport with free wifi. so anyways, i have 2 reasons i hate flying. here they are:
1. little kids
i am a firm believer in the idea that no one should fly until the age of 15. the reason being is kids play with stuff, scream, kick the chair in front of them, ask questions non-stop, and any other thing you can come up with that should not be done on a plane. this one was not as bad as most. more than anything if parents would pay more attention to there kids, it would not be so bad, but noooooo they have to let them run wild on airplanes. why do you do this?
2. old people
funny thing about old people, they are just like kids. oh and they smell like old people. i'm not to into that smell. they always want to talk to you. always. they are also very very slow when getting on and off the plane. that is the worst thing about them. i mean it takes forever to get on and off, but when you have a gang of old people in front of you, fuck it. just set your alarm and go back to sleep for an hour.
i'm going to write a how to book about how not to suck at flying. it will be 4 easy steps.
1. get on fast.
2. when taking off, go to sleep at around 10,000 feet.
3. when landing, wake up at about 10,000 feet.
4. get off fast.