ok... i feel like all i do in this blog is bitch about the g/f but man, she pisses me off. it's getting to a point sometimes where i would almost prefer to be celibate.
like tonight, we were messin around and i brought out the accessories... now, my g/f isn't prude but she's also pretty vanilla ice cream and apple pie. i decided to throw out a mention of a certain thing i might want to try because i think she might like it . . . and she completely freaks out on me. her expression falls, she pulls away and starts to look like she's going to cry. obviously i'm thrown off by this and try to stuff all the shit i said back into my box of horny thoughts but, there's no recovering, the mood is gone.
out of fucking nowhere she starts yelling at me about how the fact that i have had relationships with men and i am attracted to them makes her feel insecure. great, cuz how the fuck am i supposed to respond to that? i'm pissed that she can hold that against me.
everyone seems to want me to pick a side. it makes me so angry. i don't fit in with straight people because they can't understand that i like girls and i don't fit in with gays cuz i sometimes have heterosexual sex.
i think sexuality is fluid. you don't fall in love with a gender, you fall in love with a person.
it just hurts me that someone i've grown to care about just can't accept that part of me. she says she trusts me, that she believes i'm being faithful (which btw, even tho i cheated on her, i find it irrelevant to this convo cuz it was with a girl) she worries that she wont be enough and that i'll cheat with a dude. there's no convincing her on it either. fuck man. i just wish she'd get that i wouldn't put up with all her whining if i didn't like her. i wouldn't try to console her. i wouldn't even let her spend the night. grrr... i just get so frustrated by her. i want her to be chill and laid back like she was when i first met her. i want her to be happy.
i just wish it was easy.
like tonight, we were messin around and i brought out the accessories... now, my g/f isn't prude but she's also pretty vanilla ice cream and apple pie. i decided to throw out a mention of a certain thing i might want to try because i think she might like it . . . and she completely freaks out on me. her expression falls, she pulls away and starts to look like she's going to cry. obviously i'm thrown off by this and try to stuff all the shit i said back into my box of horny thoughts but, there's no recovering, the mood is gone.
out of fucking nowhere she starts yelling at me about how the fact that i have had relationships with men and i am attracted to them makes her feel insecure. great, cuz how the fuck am i supposed to respond to that? i'm pissed that she can hold that against me.
everyone seems to want me to pick a side. it makes me so angry. i don't fit in with straight people because they can't understand that i like girls and i don't fit in with gays cuz i sometimes have heterosexual sex.
i think sexuality is fluid. you don't fall in love with a gender, you fall in love with a person.
it just hurts me that someone i've grown to care about just can't accept that part of me. she says she trusts me, that she believes i'm being faithful (which btw, even tho i cheated on her, i find it irrelevant to this convo cuz it was with a girl) she worries that she wont be enough and that i'll cheat with a dude. there's no convincing her on it either. fuck man. i just wish she'd get that i wouldn't put up with all her whining if i didn't like her. i wouldn't try to console her. i wouldn't even let her spend the night. grrr... i just get so frustrated by her. i want her to be chill and laid back like she was when i first met her. i want her to be happy.
i just wish it was easy.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I want some crunchberries.
Most of the girls I've dated have been with girls in the past. It's not something I sought out, it's just something that's pretty normal... I try to see it in the way that I don't think dudes are very attractive, so if they've been with pretty girls and still want to be with me, then hey, I can't be that bad! If I was in their place I'd just stick to the girls.