supersudz

soo....completely on accident, i discovered that my father is cheating on my mother.

i know that i am the only one in my family who knows.

i'm firstly disturbed, simply because i don't want to know anything that involves my parents and sex and after reading through all of my father's messages on his online profile on the site where he's meeting these tramps, i know waaay more than i ever wanted to. waay more than any daughter should know about her parents canoodling.

secondly, i'm kinda pissed at him. i know that he's just having random sexual encounters with women he has met over the Internet and that seems slightly better than him loving someone other than my mother, that would leave me totally heartbroken. it's just that i've always been able to handle that my father is a terrible parent who is totally disinterested in my life because of the fact that the love i see between my mother and him is so profound it makes me want to cry sometimes. i've always secretly found comfort in the fact that my parents can be embarrassingly affectionate. i like that they've been married for almost thirty years and they still hold hands whenever they're walking together.

they've been, my proof that real love exists. most of my friend's parents are divorced and re-married or in functional loveless relationships or single.

i don't know what i'd do if my parents weren't together.

so i'm pissed that my father just can't deal with the fact that my mother is menopausal and less interested in sex. he should love her enough to whack it in the shower and just hope that she'll find her libido again. is that really so much to ask?

i just wish i didn't know. i was so much happier with the illusion that was my truth.