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superspy24

Member Since 2003

Followers 108 Following 252

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Friday May 02, 2008

May 1, 2008
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I'm going nowhere. Today to exemplify my listlessness I came across a few "words of wisdom" today and one in particular struck a cord. It went something like this: "It is a moral imperative to take a sucker for all that he is worth." and it occurred to me that I was the sucker. I've landed a job that seems respectable and is on my level with technical knowledge. My wife is barely my friend and that only counts the good times. I cant keep a dime of what I've earned. I'm only living for the moments where I get to wrap my arms around my boys whom I have all intentions to give all of myself... but I'm loosing myself, I cant give them that. Where I am has me truly pinned and committed to a life of survival apart from dreams. Dreams of seeing the world. Dreams of having no financial institutions threatening me to pay them back in blood. Dreams of inspiring people.Dreams of being in love and in lust with someone that truly excites me and is burrowed into my very being and not being alone in the feeling. I've got my boys but I want to give them the free life I've dreamed. But... who is the moral character who has taken this sucker that is apparently me. How do I get me back.
tatian:
I am sorry that you feel so lost. Life is never what we expect, but it sounds like you know what you want and are headed in the right direction; and sometimes that is all we can do... I am sorry to hear about your wife... not everyone belongs together. BUT, assuming that your boys are hers too - there is a reason for your courtship with her - your lovely boys... Spend your time inspiring them smile that will be a life well worth living and a life well spent.

We are all surviving. Sometimes, that is all we can do...

Hang in there.. I am around if you need to chit chat...

XOxo, Tatian

Thanks, btw, for the friend request; accepted, of course! kiss
May 22, 2008

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