supernovice

it's cold out
it's always cold here
and i'm usually not one to complain
but where i'm from
the cold never bites this hard
yet summer is upon us

i've just returned from
the company of a new friend
albeit, not the one i expected to pass
the evening with

i'll be seeing him again tomorrow
at yet another team-guy funeral
(wedding)
second one in two weeks

we joked
we laughed
we drank
we entertained his girl from out-of-town
with our well-delivered
yet unrehearsed antics
amidst phone calls from 'her'
those that which deteriorated in quality
yet gained in quantity
as the evening
befell us all
and the sun raced more quickly towards
the eastern shore i hold so dear

the siempre-psychoanylitical march
up franklin street
while shivering from this
sadistic summer chill
has become an all too familiar
break down
a dissection of sorts
one that's grotesque in the ways of
those we performed in elementary school
upon bullfrogs
(which obviously had fallen from natures fortune)
eerily keeping in the ways
of the crucifixion of Christ

suffice it to say
i despise the walk
and even more so
it's glaring scrutiny
of the obvious fact
that i am all alone

the mobile phone rings
it's as loud as a passing tornado
in this piss-ant
sleepy ass town that thinks so highly of itself
i cringe
yo he estado aqui
muchos veces antes y regreso

i press my way through
streetlights that mock my every step
my arms cluthching
each in the other
condemening myself for being born with the
distinctly southern gene
of having the inability to EVER understand that
a forty degree change in ambient temperature
is not only imminent
BUT
it's impossible to prepare for
and meanwhile maintain your
demeanor from place to place throughout
the course of an evening

now back at home
i'm content to destroy my downstairs neighbor's
solace - that which he neither earns nor deserves -
with my musical entertainment
i NEVER bitch about his blatant vociferous eminations

some nights sound as though tank commanders
are destroying my entire existance
he's watching a movie
i wrap my head in a pillow and attempt to sleep -
it never transpires
so fuck him if he's not man enough
to confront me while i'm disturbing him
besides, tonight's special...

so i sit and write and i read
and the computer's listless glow
reminds me i have joined the genetically
dysfunctional humanoids that now need eyeglasses
in order to read without squinching
the same race of weaklings that would
have long since been destroyed by predatory
adversaries had not technology intervened

so here we are
evolving (sort of)

contemplating those hot humid summer nights
i keep so, so close to my heart
(and i swear i miss sweating in the open air
as i'd miss my breath
were it witheld)
all those times i so stupidly believed in you
i can hardly bear to even attempt to measure
your distgusted reaction to the discernable
demise of each and every of my inventions

and i wonder where you are right now
this very minute
on this chilly night that finds me alone
desperate for a singular solution
to multiple problems
you obviously avoid
with a drink and a shrug...

happy birthday