Stolen from angel_virus coz it made me laff!
Chav Xmas!
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?) She's
not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that.
Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel.
She's like 'Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.'
Mary's totally gobsmacked.
She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no
Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!' So Mary goes and sees her cousin
Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with
spirits, Barcardi Breezers an'that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can
feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all
the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose
you're right' Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a
donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary
wants to stop, eah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no
room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this
garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that. Then
these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their
heads. They're like 'Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men
from the East End. Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this
Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and
Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an'
sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like 'The
police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off
to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn
Egypt on a minging donkey' Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your
look out if you stay.' So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin
the first-born an' it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go
back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.
HAPPY CHAVMAS
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Lights of Euphoria
Chav Xmas!
There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?) She's
not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that.
Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel.
She's like 'Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.'
Mary's totally gobsmacked.
She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no
Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!' So Mary goes and sees her cousin
Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with
spirits, Barcardi Breezers an'that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can
feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all
the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose
you're right' Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a
donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary
wants to stop, eah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no
room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this
garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that. Then
these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their
heads. They're like 'Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men
from the East End. Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this
Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and
Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an'
sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like 'The
police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off
to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn
Egypt on a minging donkey' Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your
look out if you stay.' So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin
the first-born an' it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go
back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.
HAPPY CHAVMAS
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Lights of Euphoria
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Nice little story, reminds me of monty python