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Vin Diesel is first in line to Japan's Chrysanthemum Throne. As Emperor his name will be Shamura-Hito which translates as Giant Puffy Man with Ambiguous Sexuality.

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Ah, life.

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Vin Diesel's penis is a fully functional light saber.

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I need to go *DO* something. I just don't know what.

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Vin Diesel is behind you right now.

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Gonna watch some movies tomorrow night, for fun. Should call some houses as well.

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Vin Diesel has agreed to star in Britain's National Theatre's new production of Hamlet if they allow him to have sole creative control and cut through all "that whiny bullshit". His version will consist of one line of dialogue. While restraining uncle Claudius in a headlock, Hamlet growls, "You should have ghosted me when you had the chance, motherfucker!" He then disembowels all the male characters with his thumbs. In the next scene, he steals inside Gertrude's bedroom and skullfucks mother in her sleep. Finally, he fleshes out the rest of the play by giving Ophelia a four and a half hour orgasm that lasts till the end of Act V. The rest is silence.

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I can't sleep. Does it show?

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Vin Diesel only eats Lasagna - Lasagna made of Kenyan children.

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"What time is it? It's time for the killing game show!"

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Vin Diesel's first appearence on screen was in the hit movie "Alien", where he burst out of a mans chest at a dinner table.