OK, I guess I just need to talk about it, so here goes.
I went to go hang out with squishylizards last night.
Well, I guess I might tell the story chronologically.
I went over to her house, and we sat and talked, and she drank, and we talked about boys she's interested in.
Then we went out to a bar, had some drinks, hung out with some of her friends(kinda acquaintances), so that was fun too.
The guy she's been sleeping with showed up not long before last call at the bar (the "Surly Wench" on 4th in Tucson). He's a bit of a dick.
But the three of us when off to a party, where I took E for the very first time, and that was quite the experience. I'm normally very asocial, and I'm terrified to touch people. But E sort of fixes that in me. By the end of the night, I knew pretty much everyone in the house's name. And I'd done an awful lot of touching other people.
But what has me even more wierded out is that Squishylizards gave me my very first (and 2nd-7th) kiss. And then she said that it was only because she was on drugs, and then she didn't remember it a few hours later, which kinda hurts. But it felt SOOOO good to kiss her.
And well, I'm pretty grateful for the experience. It's one of those things that's going to mean a lot to me (in a good way, Kristen), and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to forget it, like, ever.
I've also applied for my first 1-bedroom apartment, and I guess I'll know on Monday or Tuesday, once they've done the credit check and verified my employment.
And I've eaten no more than 1 meal a day for teh past like 5 days, and I've lost a couple of pounds, and I'm oddly not hungry still, but I'm going to force myself to eat something.
I don't know what to say, other than that I've had quite an emotional run-through. I've a little hurt, and more happy than hurt, and more confused than anything.
I went to go hang out with squishylizards last night.
Well, I guess I might tell the story chronologically.
I went over to her house, and we sat and talked, and she drank, and we talked about boys she's interested in.
Then we went out to a bar, had some drinks, hung out with some of her friends(kinda acquaintances), so that was fun too.
The guy she's been sleeping with showed up not long before last call at the bar (the "Surly Wench" on 4th in Tucson). He's a bit of a dick.
But the three of us when off to a party, where I took E for the very first time, and that was quite the experience. I'm normally very asocial, and I'm terrified to touch people. But E sort of fixes that in me. By the end of the night, I knew pretty much everyone in the house's name. And I'd done an awful lot of touching other people.
But what has me even more wierded out is that Squishylizards gave me my very first (and 2nd-7th) kiss. And then she said that it was only because she was on drugs, and then she didn't remember it a few hours later, which kinda hurts. But it felt SOOOO good to kiss her.
And well, I'm pretty grateful for the experience. It's one of those things that's going to mean a lot to me (in a good way, Kristen), and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to forget it, like, ever.
I've also applied for my first 1-bedroom apartment, and I guess I'll know on Monday or Tuesday, once they've done the credit check and verified my employment.
And I've eaten no more than 1 meal a day for teh past like 5 days, and I've lost a couple of pounds, and I'm oddly not hungry still, but I'm going to force myself to eat something.
I don't know what to say, other than that I've had quite an emotional run-through. I've a little hurt, and more happy than hurt, and more confused than anything.