superflea

I'm pretty pissed off about the US election. I'm amazed at the capacity - no, the passion - of the American electorate to be fucking lied to. I feel really sorry for everybody who wanted a change and got four more years of this asshole. Do I think Kerry was a strong competitor? No, not really. I don't think he would have guided America to some kind of new golden age. But this isn't about Bush and Kerry. It was an election between Bush and Not Bush. In the end, the only real winner is Satan.

Now, I'm not against Republicans. Some people on this site who I would consider friends are Republicans, and I can respect a lot of the core republican values. However, I don't think Bush truly represents any of those values. I think he's a horrible choice whose entire platform was built on shameless deceit and unconscionable fearmongering. I'm not going to get into a political discussion with anybody on the right here, and I want to make that clear. I'm not going to exile any friends over their political leanings. But I sure as fuck don't want to talk about how anybody could possibly defend this as a choice.

I suppose it is worth conceding that at least more voters chose Bush this time, so at least there isn't the Draconian sting of the last election, where the candidate more Americans voted for to be their president was not elected. Don't get me wrong - I'm sure there was all manner of trickery and that any number of vile tactics were used to discount, discourage, or discard Democratic supporters. But at least the final numbers that we all have to live with for the next four years have the jackass crossing the finish line first.

Oh, and fuck Nader, too. Granted, the issue isn't Nader so much as it is the need for electoral reform. But when a guy can command 2 or 3 percent of the electorate in an election that comes down to 2 or 3 percent, maybe it's time to acknowledge that there probably aren't a lot of people making a tough choice between Nader and Bush, and get the fuck out of the arena.

To the righties... I respect your right to your opinion, but I cannot respect that opinion in these circumstances. I'm disappointed and more than a little worried that Dubya's got the keys for another term, and I needed to vent that.

My final word on the matter is that I think in the big picture, this is one of the worst and scariest things that could have possibly happened in the modern age. Have fun having your personal freedoms trampled while nobody has the first fucking clue where the actual guys behind 9/11 are.

Now, onto more important things.

The girl continues to get better. Her trach came out yesterday, and she's been doing some walking with her physiotherapist. I'm there every night, and the nurses have been really great about not raising eyebrows too far over the fact that at some point in the night, she'll scoot over in the bed and I'll crawl in next to her (over the covers - it's all sweet and innocent and stuff) and we'll lie together and hold one another and feel almost normal again. She might be in the hospital for another week or so, and then it's still a long road ahead of recovery and physio, but I'll be there to help at every step of the way and do whatever I can for her.

I love this girl.

I've also had the absolute worst fucking week at work. I don't really want to get into it, but I learned a lot about how business really works, and a lot about who my friends really are.

I'm absolutely amazed at how many days in the past three weeks have been legitimate contenders for the worst day in my life.

I told my mom what was going on yesterday, and I tried to remain philosophical about it. I think if I survive the next week, then my biggest problem for a while might be trying to explain to my dad what a vegetarian is when I bring the girl home to meet the 'rents over the holidays.

And if I don't survive the next week in the corporate jungle, I'm going to bat my eyes at Dogslife until he finds me some cushy gig with as little responsibility as possible, and we'll hang out all day being collectively awesome.

For those of you who have been doing the warm thoughts thing, please keep sending them to the girl. We both think that all the positive energy has been a factor in her healing up so quickly. But if you could spare one or two for me... at the risk of being a little selfish, I could really use them right now. I seem to be in a lot of crosshairs lately. Given that I wake up go right to work go right to the hospital go right home go right to sleep every day and have been doing that basically every day since this started... I don't know how much longer I can hold up against every new challenge. I've been keeping it together, more or less, because I know I need to be strong for her.

But Christ, I'm so tired.

Everything you say to me
Puts me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break

or, if you prefer your shizzle old skool...

Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge
I'm trying not to lose my head
It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder
How I keep from going under

--Flea out

PS. A happy birthday to the wrecker of decks.

Update: I just read this in Moby's journal. It's about the election, but it makes me feel a little better about everything. (Although I sure need some cheering about the election, too.)

it is what it is, and being depressed and despondent isn't going to make anything better.
so go out and eat some ice cream and play with a dog and go see a movie with your friends.
the world will go on, don't let yourself get depressed, ok?
moby