superfall

It's HOTTTT!!!! I left Florida to get away from this weather. Well, it's three days and counting 'til Caitlyn and her mom get here. I'm looking forward to seeing them. Right now I feel like I need a friend. I'm feeling really lonely and I'm fighting depression every day. I have a great job and work with great people. I live in a nice condo...
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I wonder if Amy ever read my blogs or my e-mail. I know that she let me go because she said it wasn't fair to me. I wonder if I see meanings between us that aren't there?

I'm feeling like crap with this cold. Tomorrow I have to clean my place in preperations for my goddaughter and her mother's visit. It will be nice to have some days off. I wish Amy and Cody could be part of it, but it's not to be.

I haven't bought any smokes and feel no desire to smoke. I'm back to a social smoker status...
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I just couldn't last. I worked with Amy more than I have since we went to Delaware together. I came home and decided to rest and before I knew it, I was stroking myself to thoughts of Amy. I'd stop myself and try to read or something, and then I would find myself rubbing my crotch and then stroking my cock. I finally couldn't stand...
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I'm sitting here in the office with Amy. She doesn't know that I'm writing this. I can see her profile. I love the way her ear sticks out from under her hair. Her hair has a reddish tint to it. The other week when we were back at my place after we went to Delaware we were horsing around and I grabbed her and started...
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Well, this is day four of the no rubbing out watch and it's getting tougher every day. I keep catching myself playing with myself and fantasizing about Amy. I was out of the office today and I really missed seeing her. Maybe that's why it's been so hard to keep from thinking about her today?

This is day 5 of the non smoking watch. Not...
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It's late, so I'll keep this short and sweet.

I almost broke my resolve today. I played with myself in bed at my desk, and in the shower, but kept from reaching climax. The thought of Amy's body haunts me and it hadn't even been three days.

I resisted smoking once again today, even when I was around other people smoking.

Amy accepted and I...
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My blog of earlier this evening is full of such whining and self suffering that I can't stand to think I wrote it. However, I won't erase it because it was what I was thinking at the time. Have I been around "victims" so much that I see myself as one? I hope not. If you go on to read it please realize it was...
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I fucked up today. I royally pissed of Amy and I don't blame her a bit. I went to txt her good morning and someone else answered back that they would give her the message. Maybe I'm strange, but if I found out a friend of mine picked up my phone and read a text message sent to me I would be livid. If I...
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I miss Amy.

I get to see her everyday at work, but things have changed. I miss the way we used to cut up. I miss the way if felt like we had our little secret. I miss asking her what color her panties are. I miss our midnight conversations where we would talk about work, friends, life, ourselves and feel connected even though we...
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