I've really been thinking about a pet the last week or so. In one hand, I would rather not have the added responsibility for taking care of it by myself. On the otherhand, it would be nice to have a companion to share my time with. I don't know. I'll have to think about it.
I keep feeling like I put my foot in it when I talk with Amy. I trust her and care for her, but for the first time in my life, I'm jealous when another man comes around her. It's like I feel like someone is intruding on my territory. First that bothers me that I'm that possessive. Second, it worries me that I'll push Amy away by being too possessive, or I'll go to far the other way and seem uninterested.
Another thing. I keep bringing up sexual things to her. She must think that all I want to do is bang her all day and all night and while I don't mind trying, that's not what is most important to me. If there were no sex, then it would be a major deal breaker, but we do and (I think at least) it's pretty good. I have some anxiety issues that have to be worked out and that is going to take understanding on both of our parts. I've not been able to really voice my thoughts on that with her yet though. I wonder if my focus on sex is because this is the "honeymoon" phase of our "relationship" (? we haven't discussed us yet so I don't like to label) and we are exploring each other as part of that discovery. There are a lot of things that she is not comfortable with yet and I'm afraid that makes me focus that much more on them instead of exploring how to make what we have better. It's the nature of man not to be satisfied with what you have, but to seek for what you don't have. On the otherhand, I have no desire for another woman. Amy is everything I could and do want in a partner. Maybe it's my paranoia that I'm going to screw this up. Then I'm paranoid because I'm not direct enough, that I come across as wishy washy. Sigh..
I just can't express how much I want to be with her at all times of the day. Not to be obsessive, but when she's not available to me by phone or in person I miss her and my day seems less bright until I talk to her again. We fit together so well physically. I love her sense of humor and how she brings me out of my shell. I love her sense of adventure and how she can be a tiger and shy from one moment to the next. She strokes my male ego in one word and brings me back to Earth with the next. Maybe I seem to be waxing poetic about her, but when I'm with her the birds sing and everything seems right in the world.
I keep feeling like I put my foot in it when I talk with Amy. I trust her and care for her, but for the first time in my life, I'm jealous when another man comes around her. It's like I feel like someone is intruding on my territory. First that bothers me that I'm that possessive. Second, it worries me that I'll push Amy away by being too possessive, or I'll go to far the other way and seem uninterested.
Another thing. I keep bringing up sexual things to her. She must think that all I want to do is bang her all day and all night and while I don't mind trying, that's not what is most important to me. If there were no sex, then it would be a major deal breaker, but we do and (I think at least) it's pretty good. I have some anxiety issues that have to be worked out and that is going to take understanding on both of our parts. I've not been able to really voice my thoughts on that with her yet though. I wonder if my focus on sex is because this is the "honeymoon" phase of our "relationship" (? we haven't discussed us yet so I don't like to label) and we are exploring each other as part of that discovery. There are a lot of things that she is not comfortable with yet and I'm afraid that makes me focus that much more on them instead of exploring how to make what we have better. It's the nature of man not to be satisfied with what you have, but to seek for what you don't have. On the otherhand, I have no desire for another woman. Amy is everything I could and do want in a partner. Maybe it's my paranoia that I'm going to screw this up. Then I'm paranoid because I'm not direct enough, that I come across as wishy washy. Sigh..
I just can't express how much I want to be with her at all times of the day. Not to be obsessive, but when she's not available to me by phone or in person I miss her and my day seems less bright until I talk to her again. We fit together so well physically. I love her sense of humor and how she brings me out of my shell. I love her sense of adventure and how she can be a tiger and shy from one moment to the next. She strokes my male ego in one word and brings me back to Earth with the next. Maybe I seem to be waxing poetic about her, but when I'm with her the birds sing and everything seems right in the world.