Today was my last day visiting with my family. It was fun while it lasted. I'm looking forward to getting back and getting into a routine again. My first focus is going to be on my health. Amy would be my ultimate choice to focus on, but she needs space to deal with everything going on in her life. I can be patient. Meanwhile I can focus on what I need to until such a time as Amy and I are able to spend time together. I'll focus on my health, my finances, and expanding my comfort with the area. I plan on contacting the colleges and universities in the area to find out what I need to do to take classes in the fall. I will check out Civil War Reenacting groups in the area and see if there is one I'm comfortable with. I'm going to find a tattoo and piercing shop on South Street that I'm comfortable with and get some more piercings and start to plan on tattoos.
Something that I was thinking about earlier today between Amy and myself is the matter of intimacy. If we had done more earlier, maybe there wouldn't be the strain that we feel now. For one thing, we could be totally incompatible in the sack!
I doubt it, but it could have happened and then we would know that we should just be friends. Timing is everything, and the circumstances suck as to our timing in this. It might be a good thing though, because I was wasting time and money on things that didn't matter and I needed something to jar me back to reality.
I'm looking forward to Monday though. We're going to fight. I know it. Between me acting like a dick (which I plan to) and letting her in on the joke I pulled on her, she's going to be ready to spit nails. She probably won't talk to me for months.
God I miss her.
I write these fantasies, but I would give anything for just some real time with her. I would be happy if I could help, but she keeps me shut out from it. She's used to doing it all her way and that's that! I think that will be one of the hardest things for her to come to a realization of if we are able to work things out. To be a couple means we have to share, cooperate, and depend on one another. I know she's been hurt before and this is a defense mechanism for her. The only thing I can do is be there if and when she needs me. And if something happens and she throws me over for some jerk I'll beat her ass!
Something that I was thinking about earlier today between Amy and myself is the matter of intimacy. If we had done more earlier, maybe there wouldn't be the strain that we feel now. For one thing, we could be totally incompatible in the sack!
I doubt it, but it could have happened and then we would know that we should just be friends. Timing is everything, and the circumstances suck as to our timing in this. It might be a good thing though, because I was wasting time and money on things that didn't matter and I needed something to jar me back to reality.
I'm looking forward to Monday though. We're going to fight. I know it. Between me acting like a dick (which I plan to) and letting her in on the joke I pulled on her, she's going to be ready to spit nails. She probably won't talk to me for months.
God I miss her.
I write these fantasies, but I would give anything for just some real time with her. I would be happy if I could help, but she keeps me shut out from it. She's used to doing it all her way and that's that! I think that will be one of the hardest things for her to come to a realization of if we are able to work things out. To be a couple means we have to share, cooperate, and depend on one another. I know she's been hurt before and this is a defense mechanism for her. The only thing I can do is be there if and when she needs me. And if something happens and she throws me over for some jerk I'll beat her ass!