superfall

Maybe I'm being obsessive?

Amy and I were supposed to at least talk yesterday and actually were supposed to see each other briefly. I left numerous messages on her phone yesterday and she never called me back. This brings up two things. First, I'm pissed that she didn't at least call and say she couldn't talk, but she hoped I'd have a safe trip or something along those lines. The other is that this seems to reflect what happened to me last Thanksgiving and Christmas. I never told her about that. If this is just innocent neglect on her part, maybe she would understand my paranoia better if I had told her. If this is a replay of what happened last year I'm going to be bitter for quite a while.

Am I wrong to expect to hear from her once everyday? She remembers to call her son. She talks or texts people all day long when I'm with her. Shouldn't I expect the same courtesy? I don't know where she lives although we've been "going out" for two months. She is using a borrowed cell phone, but I don't have the number.

If I don't hear from her today, another Christmas is going to be ruined. As it is, I'm going to be distracted all day and that means I'm going to affect my family's Christmas. If that happens, I'm really going to be pissed.

I know she is used to being on her own. That proves to be difficult for me because I need to feel needed at least a little bit in a relationship. That she can "forget" or get "distracted" enough that she doesn't think to call seems more and more an excuse. Maybe this is all an innocent occurance and I'm worked up about nothing. Maybe I'll talk with her this morning and I'll be leaving a totally different blog later on today. I hope so.