sunofnone

Why do I abuse the ones I love?
I don't understand why anyone would even want to be a part of my life or have me as part of theirs.
I'm not just being down on myself I genuinely don't get it.
I fucking hate myself. The truth is I hate most others too.

That is only one half of me.
I totally don't get how I can feel like that one minute and opposite the next.
All I want is to be part of my girls life.
She's the best thing that's happened to me since I can't remember when and when I upset her I can't help but destroy myself.
It pains me to the core of my being to be away from her.
I don't think I've ever loved anyone as much as I love her and I don't know if I can deal with it.
I think I'm going to drive myself insane just worrying about all of this coming to an end.

I could die in my sleep at any moment because of my health condition and I fear that the moment I accept happiness I'm going to go out as painfully as possible.
It hurts so bad trying to breath when your body won't respond to the cries of your mind.

I suppose that's enough whining for now. I just needed to get that out.