Mood: Bored but mellowed. 
Music: Bjork: Greatest Hits
Well this would be my first time doing a journal but what hell there nothing wrong with startin now. Hmmm what to offer in this journal, well I have to say for starters: Life seems to drift away like sand in the wind. I always feel like I am chasing something and searching for something but with no direction and caught up in so many different directions and being torned in every which way. I guess the best way to start if this journal would be to describe myself to everyone who views this. I am someone of and out of the way strange guy. Who loves to have fun, whether it be something big like going to a club or just havin fun doing something stupid. I feel like I live a double life, I have my job that I take very seriously cause it is family own and operated and I must uphold a imagine of our business, by being very business like and very professional. But that is not really the true me, I think that I am totally different as far as what I protray at work. I am more of a spur of the moment type person, who at times can be very child-like in having fun in whatever I can do and believe me the little things can be quite amusing-lol At work you would see me as just a normal hard working person but on the outside I am pretty much a freak. I love to go to industrial/goth/fetish clubs and shows. I also love tatoos and piercing I have piering but I had to take them out cause of work and I have a tat and planning on more but they are also very much hidden for the same reason. When I am at work I am pretty much very out going, friendly,and helpful to whoever I come across. When I am out most of the time I am just a very shy and tend to hang out by myself or the few friends that I like to hang out with.
What else to say would be that I am a hopeless romantic but I always seem to get to caught up in being too giving to the person or people that I care about that end up in me feeling utterly used :blah!: I have never really had a really true love but but all that I have been with have left there something very special to me, I think I have learn something or other from all the girls that I have been with and I hope that I have as well. I have had relationships based purely out ov needs and sex to relationship that were very special and deep where I thought this was the one I want to spend the rest of my life with too even relationships that were: " What the fuck was I doing???". I think love life like is very strange indeed but I still believe that there has to be someone/something
out there that will make life that much more worth living.
As far as my personality goes. I am a pretty much a into dark and mysterious things. I like things that fairly different. I am especially into music but not just any kinda of music most of my music taste is very underground whether it be some hardcore noize or a soft and very entrancing ethereal. I am just fantazined by it. I enjoy learning about music and the artists that create it as well. It is my passion and soul, it what keeps me going. Without music I think I would go absolutely mad. I am also into anime, and darks arts, and whatever can get me laughing my ass off. I think the best way that people that have know me best would describe me is that I am very much as stated above as a freak that is fun-loving with a "don't give a shit atitude but also has moments of complete solitude that lives life as one being too good to just being out there and crazy. In closing on this first journal I hope this give somewhat of an idea of what I am all about but the best way to know me is to get to chance to talk with me and to see what really make me tick. I hope this has been enjoyable to someone...... I am tired and need a drink or something to smoke or both ya!!!. Talk to you all later.
Suicidalboi- Patrick
Music: Bjork: Greatest Hits
Well this would be my first time doing a journal but what hell there nothing wrong with startin now. Hmmm what to offer in this journal, well I have to say for starters: Life seems to drift away like sand in the wind. I always feel like I am chasing something and searching for something but with no direction and caught up in so many different directions and being torned in every which way. I guess the best way to start if this journal would be to describe myself to everyone who views this. I am someone of and out of the way strange guy. Who loves to have fun, whether it be something big like going to a club or just havin fun doing something stupid. I feel like I live a double life, I have my job that I take very seriously cause it is family own and operated and I must uphold a imagine of our business, by being very business like and very professional. But that is not really the true me, I think that I am totally different as far as what I protray at work. I am more of a spur of the moment type person, who at times can be very child-like in having fun in whatever I can do and believe me the little things can be quite amusing-lol At work you would see me as just a normal hard working person but on the outside I am pretty much a freak. I love to go to industrial/goth/fetish clubs and shows. I also love tatoos and piercing I have piering but I had to take them out cause of work and I have a tat and planning on more but they are also very much hidden for the same reason. When I am at work I am pretty much very out going, friendly,and helpful to whoever I come across. When I am out most of the time I am just a very shy and tend to hang out by myself or the few friends that I like to hang out with.
What else to say would be that I am a hopeless romantic but I always seem to get to caught up in being too giving to the person or people that I care about that end up in me feeling utterly used :blah!: I have never really had a really true love but but all that I have been with have left there something very special to me, I think I have learn something or other from all the girls that I have been with and I hope that I have as well. I have had relationships based purely out ov needs and sex to relationship that were very special and deep where I thought this was the one I want to spend the rest of my life with too even relationships that were: " What the fuck was I doing???". I think love life like is very strange indeed but I still believe that there has to be someone/something
out there that will make life that much more worth living.
As far as my personality goes. I am a pretty much a into dark and mysterious things. I like things that fairly different. I am especially into music but not just any kinda of music most of my music taste is very underground whether it be some hardcore noize or a soft and very entrancing ethereal. I am just fantazined by it. I enjoy learning about music and the artists that create it as well. It is my passion and soul, it what keeps me going. Without music I think I would go absolutely mad. I am also into anime, and darks arts, and whatever can get me laughing my ass off. I think the best way that people that have know me best would describe me is that I am very much as stated above as a freak that is fun-loving with a "don't give a shit atitude but also has moments of complete solitude that lives life as one being too good to just being out there and crazy. In closing on this first journal I hope this give somewhat of an idea of what I am all about but the best way to know me is to get to chance to talk with me and to see what really make me tick. I hope this has been enjoyable to someone...... I am tired and need a drink or something to smoke or both ya!!!. Talk to you all later.
Suicidalboi- Patrick
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
flowerofromance:
You rang?
suicidalboi:
I got a new piecring yesterday at Nathans, I got my left eyebrow piecred. Anxious to get more and I will hope to have some pictures up on my new eyebrow piercin... Talk to you guys laterz