sugarpill

Yeah, so like I said. Sometimes you just have to force it. I went out by myself today. Fuck it, you know? I'm sick of sitting around waiting for other people to get their act together. Most of the time they just bail on me anyway, and then I've wasted all my time. And today happened just like I knew it would. I always end up doing things by myself. Everybody else around me is just fucking useless. Dead weight. I can't sit here, rotting. I'm really proud of myself. It's really easy just to give up, just to say, okay, so we're not doing anything today. Fine. I can sit around here bored, just like every other day. It's really hard to do things alone. But there I was, marching around in the snow, all by my lonesome, feeling kinda like the last person on the face of the earth. Breathing hard and enjoying the sunshine, alone. You know, we had a real chance to do some stuff together this weekend, and it's not my fault we didn't.

Deep breath. In. Out.

I need to get a job. Somewhere far away. And I need to just leave this place behind.