Hi, kids.
I have a drinking problem.
I have just admitted this to myself and my boyfriend. While he's glad that I've finally pulled my head out of the sand and faced reality, he also wants me to take some time to get my shit together without his influence.
So now we take a few months apart. I figure out who I am, what I...
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I have a drinking problem.
I have just admitted this to myself and my boyfriend. While he's glad that I've finally pulled my head out of the sand and faced reality, he also wants me to take some time to get my shit together without his influence.
So now we take a few months apart. I figure out who I am, what I...
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I can't do this
I'm losing him
I can't
I'm losing him
I can't
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musicshapedhole:
::hugs::
Le sigh...
Le sigh...
xmt:
passing through, and if i could be so bold...
for one boy that makes you sad, there are ten others that would love to make you happy.
for one boy that makes you sad, there are ten others that would love to make you happy.
I don't know why I even bother trying anymore.
I'm so tired of begging to time, for being inordinately grateful for every scrap of attention I receive. I'm tired of trying to change and accomodate while the other side does neither of the above and meanwhile I'm left with his ugly, empty shell of who I used to be. I should not spend all my...
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I'm so tired of begging to time, for being inordinately grateful for every scrap of attention I receive. I'm tired of trying to change and accomodate while the other side does neither of the above and meanwhile I'm left with his ugly, empty shell of who I used to be. I should not spend all my...
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obsidity:
YES YES. I grok you. Been there. But I drink anyway. I am trying not to for MYSELF. But am not doing a very good job...
My last real boyfriend was totally liked taht and I stayed in it for 2 years totally unsatisfied never knowing where I stood with him, trying to figure out if Ihad done something wrong again, again, but we never spoke about such things...Silent animosity drove me out of there. At least you are talking...sort of.
My last real boyfriend was totally liked taht and I stayed in it for 2 years totally unsatisfied never knowing where I stood with him, trying to figure out if Ihad done something wrong again, again, but we never spoke about such things...Silent animosity drove me out of there. At least you are talking...sort of.
musicshapedhole:
Damn 
I'm frickin sorry and apologize for my gender. I think about 90% of gals I know with intense boyfriend relationships have issues with their boyfriend being far too overproective, but not giving enough of himself to make it seem worthwhile. It's shouldn't be that tricky of a thing, but it always ends up being messed up like no other. I'm guilty of pulling the exact same shit with the strongest love of my life thus far, Sarah #2, from about 2 years ago. If only I had been who I am today, things would've gone a lot better... maybe it's a phase though? I honestly just wish nothing but the best for you. If it'll make you feel any better, I'll let you punch me in the stomach. Twice, even.
I'm frickin sorry and apologize for my gender. I think about 90% of gals I know with intense boyfriend relationships have issues with their boyfriend being far too overproective, but not giving enough of himself to make it seem worthwhile. It's shouldn't be that tricky of a thing, but it always ends up being messed up like no other. I'm guilty of pulling the exact same shit with the strongest love of my life thus far, Sarah #2, from about 2 years ago. If only I had been who I am today, things would've gone a lot better... maybe it's a phase though? I honestly just wish nothing but the best for you. If it'll make you feel any better, I'll let you punch me in the stomach. Twice, even.
More time at the beach today, which means more beach pix. Of course.
I'm loving the hell out of Fractal's new set. *purr*
And now that we have a piratey icon to use, I can share with you that National Talk Like A Pirate Day is September 19. Mark yer calendars, mateys. ARRR!
I'm loving the hell out of Fractal's new set. *purr*
And now that we have a piratey icon to use, I can share with you that National Talk Like A Pirate Day is September 19. Mark yer calendars, mateys. ARRR!
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bombshellbetty:
The bagpipes?!? That's even cooler than the tuba! At my old place, a girl who lived in the house next door was trying to learn the saxiphone. She was really bad, but I still loved to hear her playing. The whole neighbor hood could.
musicshapedhole:
Sweet Jesus, NTLAPD....
...I'm so going to take advantage of that. We actually had a pirate themed day at Borders back when I worked there. Everyone came to work dressed as a pirate... man, I miss having a freewill dress code. This uniform BS sucks.
In order for me to do my pirate voice, I have to start speaking with an Irish accent. "They're always after me lucky charms, yarrrr" and such. ::nods:: MmmHhmmmm....
...I'm so going to take advantage of that. We actually had a pirate themed day at Borders back when I worked there. Everyone came to work dressed as a pirate... man, I miss having a freewill dress code. This uniform BS sucks.
In order for me to do my pirate voice, I have to start speaking with an Irish accent. "They're always after me lucky charms, yarrrr" and such. ::nods:: MmmHhmmmm....
Best Male Friend took me out for steak dinner and midori sours on Saturday night, and I was all fishnets and black high heels. Score.
Yesterday I had to get away from these four walls, so I took my work down to my favorite restaurant at the beach, where it was slightly hazy but still effing gorgeous. ::sigh:: I've missed the beach...I'd love to live...
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Yesterday I had to get away from these four walls, so I took my work down to my favorite restaurant at the beach, where it was slightly hazy but still effing gorgeous. ::sigh:: I've missed the beach...I'd love to live...
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pennyzee:
Yowzers. Sounds like some good times. Why don't the girls in my group rock the fishnets? Pure foolishness. Where are you visiting from?
jivesucka52:
Why aren't all potheads fat? Metabolism differences? All significant Others should rock the house and I"m glad yours does. Word.
So the original Celebration of our Nation's Independence (TM) was to consist of my best male friend and myself going to The River. Which river that would be, I'm not sure, since I didn't get to fucking go; I got a bunch of work dropped on me right before I left on Thursday and it's all due back in the office on Monday. There goes...
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jerry031:
Sounds like you can't catch a break, between school and work. Remember what they say (I don't know who "they" are, but they said it), "All work and no play makes FunctionalGirl a dull girl." Of course all play and no work makes me poor, so it's a double-edged sword.
a35mmlife:
ouch. im not sure i could handle having to ignore this amazing weather... ive been in five pools in the last two days. *blush* im a bit of a whore for pools...but tomorrow ill keep it simple and stay in my own...
nice pics
i worked with larry clark (KIDS) for a few years... what a character...
nice pics
i worked with larry clark (KIDS) for a few years... what a character...
Okay, this is utterly fucking ridiculous.
The last time I applied to transfer to my preferred four-year uni, they rejected me because I hadn't completed my GEs. I just finished my last GE class today (like four hours ago) and I went to apply again....and they're no longer accepting applications for Fall 2003. WHAT DO YOU FUCKERS WANT FROM ME?!
So now I get to...
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The last time I applied to transfer to my preferred four-year uni, they rejected me because I hadn't completed my GEs. I just finished my last GE class today (like four hours ago) and I went to apply again....and they're no longer accepting applications for Fall 2003. WHAT DO YOU FUCKERS WANT FROM ME?!
So now I get to...
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musicshapedhole:
Ouch...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a neighbor that will play classical music, lacking rhythm, on his bass guitar till 4am, 3 out of 7 nights of the week. And tonight is one of them.
Le sigh.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a neighbor that will play classical music, lacking rhythm, on his bass guitar till 4am, 3 out of 7 nights of the week. And tonight is one of them.
Le sigh.
jerry031:
I hope it's an electric oven. Gas is wicked bad for you. Stay in school, no matter what. I wish I did.
The time has come for me to curl up into a little ball and be as self-sufficient as is humanly possible, avoiding contact with people in general and certain people in particular. Phone calls go straight to voice mail, Instant Messenger stays off, and I'm locking my office door at work this week. I'm a fairly solitary person by nature, but this is extreme even...
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obsidity:
You should check ticketmaster bcse Eddie Izzard is touring this fall. I know he is going to be in SF in September, but he may be traveling down the LA too. I really hope I get to see him, the tix are a bit pricey but it's EDDIE!!!
Anyway thank you for noticing.
it is 4 am. I have succumbed to one or two of my vices....
oh well.
I also have those really awful bad urges like, waiting on line...you can tell I am from the east coast...IN line and thinking," what if I just smacked that baby in front of me?! How horrible! or "what if I just took all this- aspirin / bleach / other peoples food -right now?! Terrible. I would NEVER do such things. but my brain can't stop making up worst case scenarios.
OK one more. i am going through security at the airport and I think, what if there is a gun or drugs in my bag? I absolutely know there isn't but I can't help thinking that it might just turn up. Too many twilight zone episodes, I think.
what about youself? Or is that just too weird?
Anyway thank you for noticing.
it is 4 am. I have succumbed to one or two of my vices....
oh well.
I also have those really awful bad urges like, waiting on line...you can tell I am from the east coast...IN line and thinking," what if I just smacked that baby in front of me?! How horrible! or "what if I just took all this- aspirin / bleach / other peoples food -right now?! Terrible. I would NEVER do such things. but my brain can't stop making up worst case scenarios.
OK one more. i am going through security at the airport and I think, what if there is a gun or drugs in my bag? I absolutely know there isn't but I can't help thinking that it might just turn up. Too many twilight zone episodes, I think.
what about youself? Or is that just too weird?
obsidity:
I totally have had the reverse one-or the emergency brake. Do I like to frighten myself? Do I just like to keep aware of the possibilities. I actually like kids,usually have a lot of fun with them esp when the parents aren't looking and i am making faces and the the parent turns around and I act like there is nothing going on. But there is some special type of kid that just irks me, they are so soft or something they bring out the predator in me. Sick.
So yesterday I told my office to piss off and went hiking instead. I managed to do about seven miles grand total, and it's amazing the difference that a good pair of shoes and socks make. I also managed to fuck up my starboard hip pretty righteously, but all in all I'm experiencing much less pain than last time, regardless of the fact that the...
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oldschool:
you are a super hero. I like your picture
yonicsoothe:
south OC, huh...
is that pic in san cLemente, or maybe dana point?
a gorgeous gemini girl from there taught me all about tantric yoga...
did you stop at 'Scoes on the way home?
is that pic in san cLemente, or maybe dana point?
a gorgeous gemini girl from there taught me all about tantric yoga...
did you stop at 'Scoes on the way home?
My own personal Cinderella story is backwards. Rather than waiting for Prince Charming to come find me with his Gucci loafer, I am the one questing -- looking for a bloke whose fingers fit perfectly in the spaces between my ribs, whose thumb seems made to rest in the hollow of my hipbone. I found him. And there's a whole lot of other things about...
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papawheelie:
hi
i just recently started reading your journals and I'm enjoying them...yo, gettin' some cinder-fella ack'shun woo!
i just recently started reading your journals and I'm enjoying them...yo, gettin' some cinder-fella ack'shun woo!
leavemehere:
so jealous... i want a girl thats almost perfect
very true
it always gets worse
i might come up to la next month sometime
by the way.... may i add you as a friend?
hope you feel better soon
darn that aunt flow
very true
it always gets worse
i might come up to la next month sometime
by the way.... may i add you as a friend?
hope you feel better soon
darn that aunt flow
Emo boys need to start taking their cues from premenstrual women -- namely, the notion that chocolate is a cure-all.
I have to see The Ex tomorrow, for the purpose of switching his cell phone over into *his* name rather than mine (I got it for him as a gift about two months before we split; shoulda known better). The extra $40 a month should...
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I have to see The Ex tomorrow, for the purpose of switching his cell phone over into *his* name rather than mine (I got it for him as a gift about two months before we split; shoulda known better). The extra $40 a month should...
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bombshellbetty:
I like papawheelie's idea! Although I'd take the chocolate over the blow any day of the week
And if you learn the moves from those pictures, you're a better dancer than me! I know the moves, and those diagrams still confuse me. But maybe that's just because I can't stop laughing, hehehe.
And if you learn the moves from those pictures, you're a better dancer than me! I know the moves, and those diagrams still confuse me. But maybe that's just because I can't stop laughing, hehehe.
billyhunt:
i always thought emo kids were fans of emo phillips....i guess i was wrong
I thought for a moment I'd like to try waist training....but then I realized that as a singer, I need all the room I can get for my diaphragm to expand.
My Significant Other is amazing. Every time I see him, I go all squishy inside.
My Significant Other is amazing. Every time I see him, I go all squishy inside.
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dilligan:
good for you, you also have good taste in films.
misterdoom:
Leaving me a messege was more then enough. Thank you for the kind thoughts...
DisfunctionalBoy
time to upgrade to the luxury model, sister