August 16, 1927 to June 30, 2006
John H. Davis
Its been one year since my Grandfather went to sleep.
It was said at the funeral that he was a role model, one to be looked to as an example of how to live as husband, a father and a friend. He walked this earth with a smile on his face, a kind word on his lips and love in his heart.
I knew him as my father, my mentor and my hero. So much of me was a part of him. He took me home when I was just 5, rescued me from a terrible situation with my mother and her problems. Never once did he complain or voice a word of regret for raising me as his own son. Placing the burden of my growth firmly on his broad shoulders, my grandpa, took responsibility when no one else wanted it. He never asked for reward, for recognition, for repayment. He took satisfaction in knowing he did what was right and what was best.
So much I learned at his feet. Patience, stubbornness, kindness, gratitude, sarcasm, perspective, honor, responsibility, courage, faith, peace, how to love. I suppose words can't really describe him, you learned his strength of character by his actions. He taught me to live by his examples. I wish I had paid more attention because those lessons have ceased to be given. I hope I can apply his pattern to my life, I hope that i can enrich the lives of my friends and strangers the way my grandpa did. I hope to god he can see me and is proud of what he fashioned from me. I've tried so hard and have grown up so much in the past year, buying a home, volunteering, trying to be the man that he was. I feel so in adequate in such a shadow, i can only keep look forward taking with me his experience and wisdom.
Its been 22 years since my grandfather became my father and I can't thank him anymore. It hurts to not have him at the other end of a phone call or across from me on a Sunday visit. I still can't believe he is gone. Its confusing to feel as though its been ages since i have seen him but i can picture him as clear as the morning sunshine.
I'm not sure what to feel today. I miss him so much it restricts my breathing just putting these thoughts to words. Its been a year and i can't begin to describe the void that he has left. I suppose i fill it from time to time with minor distractions, but its just not enough to make the emptiness disappear. I just wish for another 5 minutes so i can tell him exactly what needs to be said...actually, i would just prolly sit silent and just be with him.
I listen to music for solace, but one song in particular, summed up what have felt for the past 525600 minutes
John H. Davis
Its been one year since my Grandfather went to sleep.
It was said at the funeral that he was a role model, one to be looked to as an example of how to live as husband, a father and a friend. He walked this earth with a smile on his face, a kind word on his lips and love in his heart.
I knew him as my father, my mentor and my hero. So much of me was a part of him. He took me home when I was just 5, rescued me from a terrible situation with my mother and her problems. Never once did he complain or voice a word of regret for raising me as his own son. Placing the burden of my growth firmly on his broad shoulders, my grandpa, took responsibility when no one else wanted it. He never asked for reward, for recognition, for repayment. He took satisfaction in knowing he did what was right and what was best.
So much I learned at his feet. Patience, stubbornness, kindness, gratitude, sarcasm, perspective, honor, responsibility, courage, faith, peace, how to love. I suppose words can't really describe him, you learned his strength of character by his actions. He taught me to live by his examples. I wish I had paid more attention because those lessons have ceased to be given. I hope I can apply his pattern to my life, I hope that i can enrich the lives of my friends and strangers the way my grandpa did. I hope to god he can see me and is proud of what he fashioned from me. I've tried so hard and have grown up so much in the past year, buying a home, volunteering, trying to be the man that he was. I feel so in adequate in such a shadow, i can only keep look forward taking with me his experience and wisdom.
Its been 22 years since my grandfather became my father and I can't thank him anymore. It hurts to not have him at the other end of a phone call or across from me on a Sunday visit. I still can't believe he is gone. Its confusing to feel as though its been ages since i have seen him but i can picture him as clear as the morning sunshine.
I'm not sure what to feel today. I miss him so much it restricts my breathing just putting these thoughts to words. Its been a year and i can't begin to describe the void that he has left. I suppose i fill it from time to time with minor distractions, but its just not enough to make the emptiness disappear. I just wish for another 5 minutes so i can tell him exactly what needs to be said...actually, i would just prolly sit silent and just be with him.
I listen to music for solace, but one song in particular, summed up what have felt for the past 525600 minutes
--how true tho is that verse. I cant recall the number of times when i put on the smile and fake contentment when someone asks, "how is everything or how are you doing now" You know that look that people give, the one where they incline their head and act concerned for posterity. The look where you just want to scream FUCK OFF and get the hell away, but can't out of respect to person. I get so tired of pretending sometimes.
Sigh...
I hate being depressed but I abhor letting others know that i am not happy. But for today and today only, i will shrug off being happy and allow myself some grief. Tomorrow will be better.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
punknitemike:
it sounds like your grandfather was a good man! take this day and think of ALL the good times you had spent with him, im sure he's up above still looking down on you! and just so you know, he did a good job with you! you're one helluva guy man, and i dont say that to everybody!
knuckles_13:
you hide that shit well kid......much love to you....metiv 