You guys are so awesome for all the well wishes! Thank you!!! I feel much better than yesterday, but my grandpa died this morning so what little bit of my body that feels good is now racked with grief. And I STILL have to work tonight. I need the moola really bad though so whatever. Grandpa died in his sleep, so we're all thankful for...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
I have the flu. My boss doesn't want me to call off. I'm too sick to drive to urgent care for a doctors note. Goddammit this sucks.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
hellsforheroes:
Baudelaire considered his soul a twin to poe's as well as translating pieces of Poe's into french...although this is french translated to english, obviously...wow am I retard some days.
Voyage to Cythera
Charles Baudelaire
Translated by Rachel Hadas
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Free as a bird and joyfully my heart
Soared up among the rigging, in and out;
Under a cloudless sky the ship rolled on
Like an angel drunk with brilliant sun.
"That dark, grim island there--which would that be?"
"Cythera," we're told, "the legendary isle
Old bachelors tell stories of and smile.
There's really not much to it, you can see."
O place of many a mystic sacrament!
Archaic Aphrodite's splendid shade
Lingers above your waters like a scent
Infusing spirits with an amorous mood.
Worshipped from of old by every nation,
Myrtle-green isle, where each new bud discloses
Sighs of souls in loving adoration
Breathing like incense from a bank of roses
Or like a dove roo-cooing endlessly . . .
No; Cythera was a poor infertile rock,
A stony desert harrowed by the shriek
Of gulls. And yet there was something to see:
This was no temple deep in flowers and trees
With a young priestess moving to and fro,
Her body heated by a secret glow,
Her robe half-opening to every breeze;
But coasting nearer, close enough to land
To scatter flocks of birds as we passed by,
We saw a tall cypress-shaped thing at hand--
A triple gibbet black against the sky.
Ferocious birds, each perched on its own meal,
Were madly tearing at the thing that hung
And ripened; each, its filthy beak a drill,
Made little bleeding holes to root among.
The eyes were hollowed. Heavy guts cascading
Flowed like water halfway down the thighs;
The torturers, though gorged on these vile joys,
Had also put their beaks to use castrating
The corpse. A pack of dogs beneath its feet,
Their muzzles lifted, whirled and snapped and gnawed;
One bigger beast amidst this jealous lot
Looked like an executioner with his guard.
O Cytherean, child of this fair clime,
Silently you suffered these attacks,
Paying the penalty for whatever acts
Of infamy had kept you from a tomb.
Grotesquely dangling, somehow you brought on--
Violent as vomit rising from the chest,
Strong as a river bilious to taste--
A flow of sufferings I'd thought long gone.
Confronted with such dear remembered freight,
Poor devil, now it was my turn to feel
A panther's slavering jaws, a beak's cruel drill--
Once it was my flesh they loved to eat.
The sky was lovely, and the sea divine,
but something thick and binding like a shroud
Wrapped my heart in layers of black and blood;
Henceforth this allegory would be mine.
O Venus! On your isle what did I see
But my own image on the gallows tree?
O God, give me the strength to contemplate
My own heart, my own body without hate!
Voyage to Cythera
Charles Baudelaire
Translated by Rachel Hadas
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Free as a bird and joyfully my heart
Soared up among the rigging, in and out;
Under a cloudless sky the ship rolled on
Like an angel drunk with brilliant sun.
"That dark, grim island there--which would that be?"
"Cythera," we're told, "the legendary isle
Old bachelors tell stories of and smile.
There's really not much to it, you can see."
O place of many a mystic sacrament!
Archaic Aphrodite's splendid shade
Lingers above your waters like a scent
Infusing spirits with an amorous mood.
Worshipped from of old by every nation,
Myrtle-green isle, where each new bud discloses
Sighs of souls in loving adoration
Breathing like incense from a bank of roses
Or like a dove roo-cooing endlessly . . .
No; Cythera was a poor infertile rock,
A stony desert harrowed by the shriek
Of gulls. And yet there was something to see:
This was no temple deep in flowers and trees
With a young priestess moving to and fro,
Her body heated by a secret glow,
Her robe half-opening to every breeze;
But coasting nearer, close enough to land
To scatter flocks of birds as we passed by,
We saw a tall cypress-shaped thing at hand--
A triple gibbet black against the sky.
Ferocious birds, each perched on its own meal,
Were madly tearing at the thing that hung
And ripened; each, its filthy beak a drill,
Made little bleeding holes to root among.
The eyes were hollowed. Heavy guts cascading
Flowed like water halfway down the thighs;
The torturers, though gorged on these vile joys,
Had also put their beaks to use castrating
The corpse. A pack of dogs beneath its feet,
Their muzzles lifted, whirled and snapped and gnawed;
One bigger beast amidst this jealous lot
Looked like an executioner with his guard.
O Cytherean, child of this fair clime,
Silently you suffered these attacks,
Paying the penalty for whatever acts
Of infamy had kept you from a tomb.
Grotesquely dangling, somehow you brought on--
Violent as vomit rising from the chest,
Strong as a river bilious to taste--
A flow of sufferings I'd thought long gone.
Confronted with such dear remembered freight,
Poor devil, now it was my turn to feel
A panther's slavering jaws, a beak's cruel drill--
Once it was my flesh they loved to eat.
The sky was lovely, and the sea divine,
but something thick and binding like a shroud
Wrapped my heart in layers of black and blood;
Henceforth this allegory would be mine.
O Venus! On your isle what did I see
But my own image on the gallows tree?
O God, give me the strength to contemplate
My own heart, my own body without hate!
yumchen:
Stupid boss. Hope you feel better asap!!
This morning I had an endoscopy, which wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. The drugs I got caused amnesia so I barely even remember it. I still feel wierd and spacy though... I hate drugs. I asked if I could have prints of the pictures they took of my insides, and the male nurse went to try and get some for me...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
hellsforheroes:
Apocalypse
Gerald Stern
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Of all sixty of us I am the only one who went
to the four corners though I don't say it
out of pride but more like a type of regret,
and I did it because there was no one I truly believed
in though once when I climbed the hill in Skye
and arrived at the rough tables I saw the only other
elder who was a vegetarian--in Scotland--
and visited Orwell and rode a small motorcycle
to get from place to place; and I immediately
stopped eating fish and meat and lived on soups;
and we wrote each other in the middle and late fifties
though one day I got a letter from his daughter
that he had died in an accident; he was
I'm sure of it, an angel who flew in midair
with one eternal gospel to proclaim
to those inhabiting the earth and every nation;
and now that I go through my papers every day
I search and search for his letters but to my shame
I have even forgotten his name, that messenger
who came to me with tablespoons of blue lentils.
Gerald Stern
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Of all sixty of us I am the only one who went
to the four corners though I don't say it
out of pride but more like a type of regret,
and I did it because there was no one I truly believed
in though once when I climbed the hill in Skye
and arrived at the rough tables I saw the only other
elder who was a vegetarian--in Scotland--
and visited Orwell and rode a small motorcycle
to get from place to place; and I immediately
stopped eating fish and meat and lived on soups;
and we wrote each other in the middle and late fifties
though one day I got a letter from his daughter
that he had died in an accident; he was
I'm sure of it, an angel who flew in midair
with one eternal gospel to proclaim
to those inhabiting the earth and every nation;
and now that I go through my papers every day
I search and search for his letters but to my shame
I have even forgotten his name, that messenger
who came to me with tablespoons of blue lentils.
cdt21:
I'm very sorry to hear that you had to go through that. My nan had a hiatus hernia and used to munch Gaviscon granules to help it and my motherThing had an endoscopy and then saw cats in the ward for the duration of her stay which was a bit weird - and then on one visit they suddenly starting birthing as well so there were kittens everywhere which was greeted with great delight 
I'm off for my tests (just routine I believe - I hope!) ahead of my hernia op sometime soon - hoping they'll actually give me a date - an d I promise to bore you with them in retaliation - seriously your very brave. I think the only thing that'll hurt tomorrow is the car park charges
Oh and a Mexx holdall is just a sports bag but from the Mexx outlet shop. They're a chain of "designer" stores across Europe whose clothing style I like. I'm a real hypocrite in this respect as I used to poo-poo people who bought designer stuff (in the sense that they were buying it just for the name) and now here I am doing something similar. WTF!
I'm off for my tests (just routine I believe - I hope!) ahead of my hernia op sometime soon - hoping they'll actually give me a date - an d I promise to bore you with them in retaliation - seriously your very brave. I think the only thing that'll hurt tomorrow is the car park charges
Oh and a Mexx holdall is just a sports bag but from the Mexx outlet shop. They're a chain of "designer" stores across Europe whose clothing style I like. I'm a real hypocrite in this respect as I used to poo-poo people who bought designer stuff (in the sense that they were buying it just for the name) and now here I am doing something similar. WTF!
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
yumchen:
Work is dumb. That always happened to me to. Never call in sick, always work for other people, and when I really need time off, even if I plan months in advance, I get fucked.
Now I am a full time student and am lazy. Bah
Thanks for the b-day wishes! My day was rad all around. School was fun, I heard from everyone that I love, and I got to eat deep fried vegatables for dinner. Yay
Love your hair color! I dyed mine a chocolate brown and it's just a reddish brown. Meh, at least the roots are gone.
Hope you feel better soon and get to have some fun!
Now I am a full time student and am lazy. Bah
Thanks for the b-day wishes! My day was rad all around. School was fun, I heard from everyone that I love, and I got to eat deep fried vegatables for dinner. Yay
Love your hair color! I dyed mine a chocolate brown and it's just a reddish brown. Meh, at least the roots are gone.
Hope you feel better soon and get to have some fun!
micaela:
I love you!
What the hell?....I tried to go to his page and it just brought me to the front page....I have no idea what's going on........
Did I read right? You have this weekend off? Hey there's that big club going on...damnit, I forgot to email you my number,off I go to myspace....kisses
What the hell?....I tried to go to his page and it just brought me to the front page....I have no idea what's going on........
Did I read right? You have this weekend off? Hey there's that big club going on...damnit, I forgot to email you my number,off I go to myspace....kisses
I feel like i'm on the rack, being pulled in every direction. I think everything is in order, but my short-term memory is shot lately so I'm not sure.
I'm sleepy, so I'm gonna take a nap. You know that "recommend some crap to me and then ask me three questions thing"? Well, I will spare you of the recommendations, because chances are I won't...
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I'm sleepy, so I'm gonna take a nap. You know that "recommend some crap to me and then ask me three questions thing"? Well, I will spare you of the recommendations, because chances are I won't...
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VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
brian_xvx:
1. thanks it seems like everyone likes them on here and i'm totally clueless... i can't wait to hear them.
2. yeah it's a little difficult but if i had too i could...for me it's stina cause she and my buddy troy talked me into joining this site in the first place...
3. i see, hear and feel them too but i feel them best see them vaguely and only hear them rarely... i sometimes wish i could hear them better so i could understand them... but i geuss it's nice that i can block it out too...
2. yeah it's a little difficult but if i had too i could...for me it's stina cause she and my buddy troy talked me into joining this site in the first place...
3. i see, hear and feel them too but i feel them best see them vaguely and only hear them rarely... i sometimes wish i could hear them better so i could understand them... but i geuss it's nice that i can block it out too...
superscott:
sleeping is awesome.
edit: haha i just saw your occupation. do you work at jerry's stables?
ba dum ching.
[Edited on Jan 23, 2005 8:44PM]
edit: haha i just saw your occupation. do you work at jerry's stables?
ba dum ching.
[Edited on Jan 23, 2005 8:44PM]
I am so mad at my brother in law. I came home last night and he was spun. Of course he waited until Mike was gone bc if he had done it with him here Mike would drop him on the spot. He waited until it was just little old me with a babysitting problem and no other options. It's a safer bet that I'd...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
hellsforheroes:
Like a hollyhock is to growing tall already blessed with flowering bases of orgone...and a tendril is to my time in this life of an oubliette....my paean, wishing of daemon...
[Edited on Jan 21, 2005 9:08PM]
[Edited on Jan 21, 2005 9:08PM]
basketcase:
Ack, that's so stupid of your brother-in-law 
Oh, and I don't mind that you didn't want to do the question thing, doesn't matter
Thanks (about the hair cut thing) I hope it looks good on me *crosses fingers* I've never had my hair that short before.
Oh, and I don't mind that you didn't want to do the question thing, doesn't matter
Thanks (about the hair cut thing) I hope it looks good on me *crosses fingers* I've never had my hair that short before.
Did you know that restaurants close early on holidays? Well sushi restaurants do. I had no idea MLK day was so important to the Japanese. My hair took HOURS and so by the time we were ready to go eat, everywhere was almost ready to close. We ended up at Chili's, LOL! That's okay. I don't really like Japanese food anyway. I just knew my...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
d_day:
hey there...
just curious, which japanese place closed early yesterday? i went to tokyo tokyo by the mill sand that place was jam packed when i was there. i don't think they had any intention of closing early either. ah well, guess it's too late for this info eh?
d-day
just curious, which japanese place closed early yesterday? i went to tokyo tokyo by the mill sand that place was jam packed when i was there. i don't think they had any intention of closing early either. ah well, guess it's too late for this info eh?
d-day
lilyk:
sadly... it was not even what you think i was off doing with a file of computer photos... i wish it had been. i woudl have been in a better mood 
Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday!!! You guys are so sweet!
My best friend is coming over today to cut and dye my hair, yay!!! Everyone is trying to talk me into fire-engine red, but I think I'm sticking with blue and purple for a while longer.
Tonight we're going out for sushi and teppan grill, and then I'm gonna come...
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My best friend is coming over today to cut and dye my hair, yay!!! Everyone is trying to talk me into fire-engine red, but I think I'm sticking with blue and purple for a while longer.
Tonight we're going out for sushi and teppan grill, and then I'm gonna come...
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VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
brian_xvx:
thanks... 
kinkerbelle:
you're welcome. I like your profile pic. Do you mind if I add you as a friend?
Yesterday was the deposition, and I only got 4 hours of sleep the night before so I felt crappy and cranky. I had to answer stupid questions for an hour, including describing how a dancer simulates masturbation. Awkward? Yes. They wanted me to speculate on a bunch of stuff too, which I think is ridiculous. I thought they wanted facts? Being that I was under...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
bikinikillgrrl:
happy birthday!!!!
sysca:
happy birthdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
My brother in law is staying with us AGAIN. I found out he's been sleeping in his car in our parking lot for 2 weeks in the rain. I can't let him do that I do have a heart. But fuck he drives me insane!!!!!
He needs a life coach, cuz he doesn't know how to make a living, keep a job, pay his bills,...
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He needs a life coach, cuz he doesn't know how to make a living, keep a job, pay his bills,...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
d_day:
sorry to hear about the bro-in-law. i guess i'm just cold hearted. i'd have let him stay in his car. but i guess that's just 'cos every time i'm nice to someone they try to get over on me. ah well.
as for the creamer... i don't drink coffee so i don't know what that's like. i can only imagine it would be like not having a smoke after sex. now THAT is a horrible experience.
i was planning on seeing DI tonight, but most of my friends have flaked out and i expect the few remaining to do so as well. flakes
maybe i'll call that little number and get myself invited to that SGIE thing. who knows.
as for the creamer... i don't drink coffee so i don't know what that's like. i can only imagine it would be like not having a smoke after sex. now THAT is a horrible experience.
i was planning on seeing DI tonight, but most of my friends have flaked out and i expect the few remaining to do so as well. flakes
maybe i'll call that little number and get myself invited to that SGIE thing. who knows. 
faelynia:
nope.. that wasn't the reason...
but your application is on review, and after another interview, you may be eligable for re-hire...
but your application is on review, and after another interview, you may be eligable for re-hire...
SG is so slooow today......And for some reason the posts that I left people yesterday are sometimes repeating themselves over and over for no apparent reason! WTF?
It's really starting to bother me that I can never make it to any SGLA events or meet my new friends or even leave the apartment. If it's not a babysitter issue it's a free time issue, if...
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It's really starting to bother me that I can never make it to any SGLA events or meet my new friends or even leave the apartment. If it's not a babysitter issue it's a free time issue, if...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
nickfear:
There are some really good events coming up for SGLA you should try and make some for sure.
P.S. I thought I had a hella of a drive to hang out in LA.
P.S. I thought I had a hella of a drive to hang out in LA.
cdt21:
Perhaps if u suggest a local venue to the SGLA and arrange it for like a month out from booking it then you can keep the date sacred and arrange backup sitters even. Tall order I guess but woth a go...
What's prilosec btw?
What's prilosec btw?
I'll update more later, but for now, let me just say that I LOVE Dr. dre. That man is such a good rapper and producer (despite that whole Eminem thing, cuz I can't stand that guy) and he is just SO cool on top af all that. That is all......
(edited for this...)
Oh god this makes me soooo mad!!! I have this book! Pornography????...
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(edited for this...)
Oh god this makes me soooo mad!!! I have this book! Pornography????...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
sweetapples:
Welcome........... to the SGIE ghetto.
Thats freaking stupid! Soon we wont be able to look at ourselves in the mirror untill someone else in society says we are mature enough to accept and see what we are.
Where is the world going to?
Thats freaking stupid! Soon we wont be able to look at ourselves in the mirror untill someone else in society says we are mature enough to accept and see what we are.
Where is the world going to?
kingskottie:
so cute... MWAH!!!
sorry about yr grandpa.