substitute

Should I spice up my pics and profile???

I grew a disturbing mustache this week. Its not as much intimidating as it makes me look like a used car salesman. Not a good look.

Well I'm off to shave it.

Why do we even bother? We should know better. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Since this is a new year, I thought I'd take a moment to say some nice things about some people.

But screw that.

Hope you all have a great year!!!

Who wants to join my Pornlord Fan Club

Are you trying to tell me that Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

So Barry Bonds thought he was rubbing flaxseed oil on himself? Isn't that what you put on your deck to make the water beed up on it? Maybe Barry thought arthritis was water damage?

I've decided to start smoking crack.

Lots of crack. Enough crack that I'll look like the white, male Whitney Houston.

Besides, how bad can crack be, really? It's just a little bit of cocaine and a lot of baking soda. It's cheap! Heck, if you light up with a Zippo, your Zippo likely cost more than your high will.

I really see no downside to...
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Give me a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick, I'm in a god-damn hurry.