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People stop me on the street on an almost daily basis and you know what they say?

Well, mostly they say, Get out of the street, moron! But when Im actually on the sidewalk, theyll stop me and ask me why a talented, handsome, witty, handsome guy (they say handsome twice, or so I imagine) like me, doesnt have a good job. I usually pause...
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How much could the San Francisco Giants make if they let people bid on eBay for a chance to kick Barry Bonds in the groin during the seventh inning stretch of a game?

The US Treasury couldnt print money fast enough to meet the need.

What is Barrys obsession with Sanford and Son?

Im pretty sure he looked at his outfield partners this year and...
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Should I spice up my pics and profile???

I grew a disturbing mustache this week. Its not as much intimidating as it makes me look like a used car salesman. Not a good look.

Well I'm off to shave it.

Why do we even bother? We should know better. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Since this is a new year, I thought I'd take a moment to say some nice things about some people.

But screw that.

Hope you all have a great year!!!

Who wants to join my Pornlord Fan Club

Are you trying to tell me that Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

So Barry Bonds thought he was rubbing flaxseed oil on himself? Isn't that what you put on your deck to make the water beed up on it? Maybe Barry thought arthritis was water damage?