sublyminull

Is there ever a point in time you feel like you have sold your soul for your dreams. And why is it when you achieve a dream that you wanted for so long you no longer want it? I believe it is the chase that i'm in love with. The chance of failure and rising above. I have never failed at anything in my life I am a perfectionist when i'm completely submerged in a project. I have done my job and lived my life so far as I had wanted to but what now? I dreamt my dreams and in none of them did my good friends and good family move away. but, even before they left I still felt empty. I can' t seem to shake this feeling. And all the stress and pressure i put on myself to be perfect in everything i do. I cracked recently well i didn't fully crack. but my anxiety has come back through I have managed to supress it for 3 years with no problems. but now i got it again. so i'm now on lexapro i just hope it doesn't kill my drive like the old pills did when i was younger.

Alright i got a phone call and lost my writing ability