It was bound to happen sooner or later.
Whenevr I have too much free time on my hands, I start to examine and evaluate myself. And the problem is that I don't like what I see most of the time. This week I've been on Annual Leave, been invited to a party and been urged to revisit OKCupid again. This involved looking at my pitifully small friends list including two ex's (One ACTUALLY met via OKCupid... kind of).
So Here is the results of the sub_monkey evaluation.
Let's start then:
BODY
Hair/Facia; Hair: uncontrollable scalp - grows too quickly, need a shave but nothing that a razor won't fix.
Eyes: Stupid looking. Defective, requires the use of corrective lenses, overwise blind as proverbial bat. Known to lose glasses and be unable to find them due to being so blind.
Ears: Perfect for putting glasses on, Overtly sensitive. Irritated by boise of cat-scarers.
Nose: Present.
Mouth: Stupid looking
Vocal Chords: Quietish, but able to hold a note. Can sing some songs very well. Generally when no one else is around. Employed to make silly voices, noises, etc to convey sarcasm or entertain co-workers/friends. Very rarely used to shout
Chin: Mild cleft, some scarring due to accident at Primary School
General observations on skin:
Normally corpse white, but recently starting to ghave some rudiness but no burning. Generally good. some scarring and minor wear and tear. Notably emergency appendecotmy and bairly visible scar on back of hand where Crazy drunk work colleague bit me.
Gut: Burning with too much acid or late, see possible stress-related illness
Lungs: Powerful
Belly: Minor Podge, Use of Gym reccomended but there's plenty worse.
Genitals: (CENSORED TO PRESERVE SENSE OF MODESTY).
Legs/Feet: muscular, more than capable in Mosh scenarios, on rare occasions when employed Kicks are known to do damage.
Arms/Hands: Perform adequately, known to have slightly abbove average reactions in Guitar Hero and Time Crisis. Can make funny crick noises on occasions, one wrist gets occasional pain, probably gained through excessive typing, masturbation and gaming related activity.
Reflexes: Generally dull, although honed with regards to Guitar Hero, Time Crisis and Sarcasm
PERSONALITY:
Confidence levels: Generally lacking, but extremely high when "in the zone". The scenario of "in the zone" can be brought on by specialist knowledge, i.e discussions of law, Speaking in a position of authority, speaking/flirting on phone where there is no possibility I will meet person involved. "In the zone" can also be induced by bouts of Alcohol, or presenting things against the core of his beings.
Principles: High, rarely faltering. Will stick to anything he believes to be right; has risked career to do so on one occasion. Questions authority/managers/lawyers.
Speech: (see also Vocal Chords). Varies, highly rated in professional capactity, has been known to speak in a managerial capacity. Speaks at all levels. Speaks over-fast when explaining computer-related skills. Mutters often in social contexts. Despises talking over XBox live. Accent weak. Automaitcally enraged when described as Bristolian Accent. Causes hilarity on XBox Live when asked to say "Brit" words.
Romantic potential: As sexually appealing as road accident. When in relationship, enthusiastic and according to other observes a passionate lover. Personally does not believe strength of these allegations, but thinks it's worth mentioning to give his ego a boost. Known to do romantic gestures although will never buy Flowers. (Believes the principle of Flower-Giving to be sily: "I saw this Pretty thing so I killed it and give it to you. You will stick said Pretty thing in water and it will wither in days. Left alone said Pretty thing would inevitably be Prettier longer". Unlikely to meet anyone unless severe kick up backside administered, or other party initiates. Other party MUST be female, single, sober, of legal age and otherwise ethically acceptable to pursue.
Sarcasm: Ever present. Is probably not as god as it as he thinlks, but still employs on regular basis.
INTERESTS
Music: likes variety, although Muse, Foo Fighters and Radiohead are current favourites. Regrettable Black Sheeps of Music Collection are Kylie (Possesses most CD's if including remix CD's). can not play Guitar, Can just about sing, Can play Plastic Guitar.
Games (Console/Computer): Loves to Game, possibly in an attempt to compensate for lack of sex life, love life and girl friend. Gaming proves just as expensive, but has added advantage of being able to trade in when get's bored. Disadvantage are less meaningful interactions and burning/cutting of genitals if any attempt to copulate was attempted. Occasionally wonders (although would not himself) if people engage in cybser-sex over the xbox live network...
Games (Other): Role-player (see Nerd/Geek). Roles includer Storyteller/DM and Player. Credited with most enjoyable RPG session for at least two players. Dismal failures with other players including allowed Player to make Bomb capable of levelling several buildings. Has recieved the "An Anvil falls on your head" for no other reason than annoying the DM. Subsequently survived and opened an Anvil shop.
Lusts: Alyson Hannigan, Mellisa Joan Hart, Kirsten Dunst, Elena Bonham Carter
Heroes: Jackie Chan. -Respect-.
Films: Huge love of Film, Large DVD collection. Most Genres watched. Zombie Films, Action packed adventures rate highly. Jackie Chan = God.
Books: Many.
Whenevr I have too much free time on my hands, I start to examine and evaluate myself. And the problem is that I don't like what I see most of the time. This week I've been on Annual Leave, been invited to a party and been urged to revisit OKCupid again. This involved looking at my pitifully small friends list including two ex's (One ACTUALLY met via OKCupid... kind of).
So Here is the results of the sub_monkey evaluation.
Let's start then:
BODY
Hair/Facia; Hair: uncontrollable scalp - grows too quickly, need a shave but nothing that a razor won't fix.
Eyes: Stupid looking. Defective, requires the use of corrective lenses, overwise blind as proverbial bat. Known to lose glasses and be unable to find them due to being so blind.
Ears: Perfect for putting glasses on, Overtly sensitive. Irritated by boise of cat-scarers.
Nose: Present.
Mouth: Stupid looking
Vocal Chords: Quietish, but able to hold a note. Can sing some songs very well. Generally when no one else is around. Employed to make silly voices, noises, etc to convey sarcasm or entertain co-workers/friends. Very rarely used to shout
Chin: Mild cleft, some scarring due to accident at Primary School
General observations on skin:
Normally corpse white, but recently starting to ghave some rudiness but no burning. Generally good. some scarring and minor wear and tear. Notably emergency appendecotmy and bairly visible scar on back of hand where Crazy drunk work colleague bit me.
Gut: Burning with too much acid or late, see possible stress-related illness
Lungs: Powerful
Belly: Minor Podge, Use of Gym reccomended but there's plenty worse.
Genitals: (CENSORED TO PRESERVE SENSE OF MODESTY).
Legs/Feet: muscular, more than capable in Mosh scenarios, on rare occasions when employed Kicks are known to do damage.
Arms/Hands: Perform adequately, known to have slightly abbove average reactions in Guitar Hero and Time Crisis. Can make funny crick noises on occasions, one wrist gets occasional pain, probably gained through excessive typing, masturbation and gaming related activity.
Reflexes: Generally dull, although honed with regards to Guitar Hero, Time Crisis and Sarcasm
PERSONALITY:
Confidence levels: Generally lacking, but extremely high when "in the zone". The scenario of "in the zone" can be brought on by specialist knowledge, i.e discussions of law, Speaking in a position of authority, speaking/flirting on phone where there is no possibility I will meet person involved. "In the zone" can also be induced by bouts of Alcohol, or presenting things against the core of his beings.
Principles: High, rarely faltering. Will stick to anything he believes to be right; has risked career to do so on one occasion. Questions authority/managers/lawyers.
Speech: (see also Vocal Chords). Varies, highly rated in professional capactity, has been known to speak in a managerial capacity. Speaks at all levels. Speaks over-fast when explaining computer-related skills. Mutters often in social contexts. Despises talking over XBox live. Accent weak. Automaitcally enraged when described as Bristolian Accent. Causes hilarity on XBox Live when asked to say "Brit" words.
Romantic potential: As sexually appealing as road accident. When in relationship, enthusiastic and according to other observes a passionate lover. Personally does not believe strength of these allegations, but thinks it's worth mentioning to give his ego a boost. Known to do romantic gestures although will never buy Flowers. (Believes the principle of Flower-Giving to be sily: "I saw this Pretty thing so I killed it and give it to you. You will stick said Pretty thing in water and it will wither in days. Left alone said Pretty thing would inevitably be Prettier longer". Unlikely to meet anyone unless severe kick up backside administered, or other party initiates. Other party MUST be female, single, sober, of legal age and otherwise ethically acceptable to pursue.
Sarcasm: Ever present. Is probably not as god as it as he thinlks, but still employs on regular basis.
INTERESTS
Music: likes variety, although Muse, Foo Fighters and Radiohead are current favourites. Regrettable Black Sheeps of Music Collection are Kylie (Possesses most CD's if including remix CD's). can not play Guitar, Can just about sing, Can play Plastic Guitar.
Games (Console/Computer): Loves to Game, possibly in an attempt to compensate for lack of sex life, love life and girl friend. Gaming proves just as expensive, but has added advantage of being able to trade in when get's bored. Disadvantage are less meaningful interactions and burning/cutting of genitals if any attempt to copulate was attempted. Occasionally wonders (although would not himself) if people engage in cybser-sex over the xbox live network...
Games (Other): Role-player (see Nerd/Geek). Roles includer Storyteller/DM and Player. Credited with most enjoyable RPG session for at least two players. Dismal failures with other players including allowed Player to make Bomb capable of levelling several buildings. Has recieved the "An Anvil falls on your head" for no other reason than annoying the DM. Subsequently survived and opened an Anvil shop.
Lusts: Alyson Hannigan, Mellisa Joan Hart, Kirsten Dunst, Elena Bonham Carter
Heroes: Jackie Chan. -Respect-.
Films: Huge love of Film, Large DVD collection. Most Genres watched. Zombie Films, Action packed adventures rate highly. Jackie Chan = God.
Books: Many.