In a very random mood, so today I present:
FIVE MYTHS ABOUT SUB MONKEY
True or False?
FIVE MYTHS ABOUT SUB MONKEY
True or False?
- Sub Monkey is a three hundred year old vampire?
False [/B} - This story comes from a meeting of an assosciate of an assosciate who decided to introduce himself as a three hundred year old vampire. Well, Hello? If you're a three hundred year old vampire how come you're so dumb. - Sub Monkey plays the guitar?
True[/B} - Sub Monkey plays the guitar - BADLY.... VERY BADLY - Sub Monkey demolishes scores of enemies with a single kick
True[/B} - This story comes from my attendance at a Rockbitch Gig. Having gotten their early with some friends we found ourselves right at the front within groping range of the group themselves. So imagine our suprise when two.. large gentleman tried to remove us whilst moshing. With pressure mounting on all sides, I was able to put my legs against the stage. Brace, and kicked out. The resulting wave knocked back three lines of people beind me, and removed the troublesome gents... What you didn't expect me to attack someone. - Sub Monkey terrifies door staff?
True[/B} - Sort of. One Member of Door Staff really. The Story is that I went to a pub with my girlfriend at the time, and a friend and his girlfriend. Us Manly men went ahead and being possessed of longer feet got to the pub about two minutes earlier, with ample time to order alcoholic beverages. Then I recieved a call from my girlfriend - She'd forgotten her ID and wouldn't be let in. I left my drink with my friend and went to see if I could do anything
The Gentleman in question was a troglodyte. After briefly reasoning with him, I turned to the then girlfriend and said "He's just doing his job. I'll go get Friend, Down the drink and we'll go somewhere else. At which point he asked for my ID.
*Sigh* I explained he'd let me in, and I'd been served at the bar, and i was in fact twenty-three.
"ID"
I produced my Student ID,
"Doesn't have your date of birth on it"
Temper loss - I don't like being seperated from something I've paid for "Well of course, because I'm a fucking child genius aren't I"
"Watch it mate"
"I'm not your Mate. I'm not your friend, chess piece, nor do I have any desire to fuck you"
Door Staff touches my arm. "You want to start something?"
"Try it. I'll take a dive. I could do with the compensation. Go on, Hit me! Assault me! HIT ME" (Now with manacal grin on face)
Bouncer goes inside and quivers, Other Bouncer asks me to leave
"Sure. If you insist. Can I have my beer first"
"Okay. Drink up and go"
- Sub Monkey is amazing in bed and is possessed of amazing genitals?
Sure Like I'm gonna answer that one. Either I'll be extremely cocky (no pun intended) or extremely neurotic. This rumor comes from my last girlfriend who whilst clearly nuts, leaves me with an ego-boosting statement. No more "It's a good size" for me!!!