suave_machine

i am quite jealous of you.
man how i wish i could do things so easily.
and you make such perfect sense.

-> "if they were to respond badly to something you say or do when you are just being yourself, then they aren't really the person for you to begin with.."

such perfect sense indeed.
it's like.. damn. it's so simple. and yet waaay to fucking complicated.

it's like.. the last thing i wanna do is be with someone where i overanalyse everything, and am generally way to nervous about it all.

but... i didn't even think about wanting to "pretty" myself up before he visited me today. it didn't even occur to me that it was something i would want to do. it's amazing...
if that isn't being myself, then i don't know what is.
well.. at least superficially.
i'm still havoc on the inside.
which is where it matters most... so iono.


alls i'm saying is that it shouldn't be this awkward.
or maybe it's just me.
but after talking to you about her and stuff,
it makes me sorta realise how awkward i've made this for myself.
it's because i think too much.
and because i'm a fucking pussy.



~i'm really sorry~


EDIT:
i wanna have some mad hot love session,
like... now.