styphilis

the wireless network is finally functioning properly again. this means more frequent updates and more notice when i'm having a party.

this fucking dog is driving me crazy. i used to play this game at the mall where the goal was to enter the gap, touch the back wall and make it back out again without being approached by an employee. now the game is to see if i can make it out of the house in the morning without being drooled on and covered in fur. i know it sounds like a lot of fun. in other contexts, i would not be opposed to being drooled on and covered in fur. not by a dog, though. and certainly not by a dog who is 120 pounds and tries to hump me at least twice a day. fucker.

anyway, my most recent MRI results show that my thyroid is about half the size of a normal thyroid. since the thyroid controls growth hormones and metabolism, this is most likely the reason that i'm a little on the short side and a little on the chubby side. super. give me drugs. a cyst has also been discovered in my brain. my doctor says this is common, but i think he's just saying that until he knows that it's nothing. i'm supposed to go back for another MRI in four months to make sure it's not changing at all. until then, i can pretend it's a tumor and get sympathy and monetary donations from unsuspecting church-goers. suckers. they always fall for that "i'm dying" shit.

i'll be starting school on september 7th. i'm more excited than a 25 year old should be about starting over as a freshman in college. maybe it's just because i get to go shopping for all kinds of new school supplies. that was always the best part of getting ready to go back to school. i would reorganize all the new stuff in my backpack at least five times a day until school finally started. i just wanted to look at all this new stuff that my parents bought for me. just like christmas. merry christmas to me.