today was the last art class. since i knew i was never gonna see her again anyway i asked that girl one last time if there was ANY chance she might want to get together sometime. the response i got was not surprising but dissapointing nonetheless. i swear to god i am this close- THIS...FUCKING...CLOSE...to signing up for one of those sites like e-Harmony or whatever. i dont want to but...ugh...im starting to lose hope. yknow i try and i try to keep acting cheerful and content when im around other people cuz i dont wanna inflict my mood on anyone else but im getting so fucking tired of being fake happy. just once i wanna be ACTUAL happy.
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i got sent home from work tonight.
i'm the MANAGER and i got sent home. i can't get a deep breath in. it's cause my house is full of dust from knocking out every wall in the room across from mine.
100 year old plaster dust is really not fun to breathe in for a week. i also think i might be allergic to it, cause my skin is all screwed up and grosslike.
hopefully i can get in to see a doctor tomorrow...