I get to the office between 7 and 7:30 AM. It's nice because not everyone is here yet, they all roll in around 9 or later. I can throw some music on and crank it a bit and actually concentrate on some work. It's quiet and peaceful.
Not too long ago I was hurting for some work to do, now I'm slammed. That seems to be a recurring theme in IT. Ebb and flow...
I had a dream once, it was the best dream ever. I dreamed I was flying through the clouds with a pack of blue whales. I don't think I had ever felt so free of everything that binds me to this earth as I did then. Outside just now as I was smoking a cigarette I looked up and the clouds were streaming past so fast like a river and it made think of that and for a minute I felt that free again. Then I went back to work. I've tried to have this dream again many times over the years to no avail.
A friend of mine had made me a Tom Waits cd and I didn't care for it too much the first time I listened to it but last night it hit me that it was really good. Something about his voice reaches inside of you.
Someone told me that the impression they got off my big ramblin' journal entry was uncertainty. I can see that. There some things I am uncertain of these days and uncertainty surely plays a part of my makeup. It seems to me there are few things you can be certain of. Is that a pessimistic viewpoint, flawed? Sometimes it seems the thing I am most uncertain of is myself, which is probably the case, but how do you go about getting certain about yourself? When I get really uncertain about things I tend to withdraw into myself to get to a place of safety. Yet that safety doesn't really exist so instead of withdrawing I'm trying to put myself in a new place this time. If anything, trying to open up a bit more instead of shutting down. I'm trying to break old unhealthy patterns of behavior. It's an interesting process. I'm not sure how I'm doing sometimes.
"no one wants to hear
what you dreamt about unless you dreamt about them
don't let that stop you
tell them anyway
and you can make it up as you go"
Not too long ago I was hurting for some work to do, now I'm slammed. That seems to be a recurring theme in IT. Ebb and flow...
I had a dream once, it was the best dream ever. I dreamed I was flying through the clouds with a pack of blue whales. I don't think I had ever felt so free of everything that binds me to this earth as I did then. Outside just now as I was smoking a cigarette I looked up and the clouds were streaming past so fast like a river and it made think of that and for a minute I felt that free again. Then I went back to work. I've tried to have this dream again many times over the years to no avail.
A friend of mine had made me a Tom Waits cd and I didn't care for it too much the first time I listened to it but last night it hit me that it was really good. Something about his voice reaches inside of you.
Someone told me that the impression they got off my big ramblin' journal entry was uncertainty. I can see that. There some things I am uncertain of these days and uncertainty surely plays a part of my makeup. It seems to me there are few things you can be certain of. Is that a pessimistic viewpoint, flawed? Sometimes it seems the thing I am most uncertain of is myself, which is probably the case, but how do you go about getting certain about yourself? When I get really uncertain about things I tend to withdraw into myself to get to a place of safety. Yet that safety doesn't really exist so instead of withdrawing I'm trying to put myself in a new place this time. If anything, trying to open up a bit more instead of shutting down. I'm trying to break old unhealthy patterns of behavior. It's an interesting process. I'm not sure how I'm doing sometimes.
"no one wants to hear
what you dreamt about unless you dreamt about them
don't let that stop you
tell them anyway
and you can make it up as you go"
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
donzell:
uncertainity or chaos is a natural part of life. Instead of trying to eradicate it, sometimes it is better to accept it and let it take you wherever it may. it makes life a lot more interesting.
sniggitysnags:
i never remember my dreams anymore....i'm not even sure if I do dream? 