stubertmcfly

"Just so we're clear, you stole a car, shot a bouncer, and had sex with two women?"

--Singh

i am a bit... um... dumber today. vegas is an evil place. and apparently, so am i. er... well i think you get my point. our adventures were not as debaucherous as they certainly could have been but there were many libations consumed throughout the weekend and well, you know what happens when parties of 12 start wacking down jaeger shots at 4:30 in the morning.

i believe that only one minor legal plane was crossed (which is pretty pathetic, i know) when one of the attendees befouled bellagio's pond. it was pointed out later that this was, in fact, a pretty spectacular effort as every thirty minutes from 9-7, he was, in effect, giving thousands of people a golden shower. but i digress...

i spent a grand total of 8 hours in my hotel room during the 40 some odd hours in vegas. i consumed mass-quantities of beverages and puking did not once cross my mind. i ate one meal (which was excellent) but i recommend any vegetarians out there to either a) avoid the city like the plague b) bring a cooler c) learn how to live on alcohol. ("c" is by far the best choice in my opinion.)

elvis was not sited (sorry anastasia) though we did witness at least two drug deals, an extrememly fat dude dancing to huey lewis (badly), another fat dude hammered at 9:30 in the morning attempting to play a live version of "frogger" and a cab have a double blow out. oh yeah... and i got a girl to give me $10 to write "stu roolz" on my buddy's forehead. in the paris bar. with a sharpie. a security guard walked into a pole he was laughing so hard.

a few other things happened as well but as they say, "what happens in vegas stays in vegas" unless of course, you buy me a few rounds. no jaeger though, please. that stuff is rotten.