stryka

I feel so fidgety and flighty. Yuck yuck yuck. I should be making sure everything is ready to leave tomorrow - I have to walk out the door at 5am, I think that's disgusting
But my mind is all skippy and funny.
Usually, I'm pretty good at not letting my thoughts get bogged down by stressers. I don't like taking life that seriously usually if you look at things in the right light, they're funny. I think part of it is tomorrow someone who's been more of a mother to me than anyone is going into surgery and I'll be in NY while it goes on. I feel kind of guilty. I mean when it comes down to it, no matter what I'll always do what i feel needs to be done for my son before anyone or anything, and part of that is putting my career first. But this woman put a roof over my head, and has been there for me since Gabriel was born. I call her before my own parents when life is good. And she's always been there for Gabriel, along w/ the rest of his paternal family, minus the paternal one. I'll see her this wkend, I spoke w/ her today and she's also going to call me as soon as she's ok to talk on the phone. It's not even like there would be anything I could do if I stayed around, I just somehow feel like I should be. It's illogical, I shouldn't be illogical it's silly.