stosbetlp

7:39 AM - On the only thing smoking is good for..
Current mood: irate
Category: Life


The title of this blog.. is a lie..
There isn't only one thing cigarettes are good for.
There are two.

One is socializing and the other is relaxation.
Cigarettes put me in a good fucking mood.
But nothing.. could help right now.

I am so god damn infuriated.. But oh fucking well.. I am going to channel this into focus.. and I'm gonna get my shit together..





I am fucking done.
I am done tripping over my own two feet.

Starting now, In this moment.. I am going to start living life for me.
It's known as MY life for a reason.

I am going to live life and not let life live me. Because so far.. that's what it's done and it's basically ran a fucking marathon all over me. And I'm sick of it.. I'm done.

I'm not going to put up with other people's bullshit and I'm going to do my things my way.. and if that means sleeping all day and working at night then so be it.. and if that means saving up money to move downtown then so be it.. I have blisters all over my feet that feel like freedom. They're from walking the drag all night the past two nights.. I felt relaxed and happy.. at peace. I felt confident.. real.. like a definitive person that has her own personality and attributes.. so much so that I actually gave my phone number to some random guy in a coffee bar.. just because I thought he was cute.. I'm holding on to this.. It's mine and I deserve it. I am not going to cater my life around other people's plans anymore.

I'm sorry for all the cussing.. but like I pointed out in my last blog.. I cuss like a sailor when I'm angry or excited.





And to the reason I am so angry..
There will be a day.. a time, a place when you fucking need me.. and I won't be there.. not for you. I'm past the point of sad.. now I'm just incredibly ticked off. Have your 'girl' skim and analyze that.

Finito,
Stassney