Hey internet friends! I'm a little behind in ma homework from @Missy and @Rambo so let's get this goin!
Today I wanted to write about my Mom.
Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for my father as well, and love him equally. But my Mom and I have a really special bond that I want to talk about.
When I was 19, we found out that my Mom and I have a rare connective tissue disorder called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.
It started from birth. Something that my Mom noticed right away when she was changing my diapers. My hips would dislocate and go off in strange directions, but it didn't seem to bother me. She took me to the doctor and they didn't really have an answer for her, but said to be gentle and that they should be fine. When I was 3 I started popping my knee caps in and out of place for entertainment. I really wanted to go into skating when I was 5, so my parents again took me to see my doctor. He diagnosed me with Hypermobility.
I always injured more than other kids. Always had more scrapes, bruises, bumps and lumps. Broken bones and sprains and strains- torn tendons and ripped ligaments. Nobody ever really thought much of it. I was "Fragile". I was a delicate human in need of protecting. Not only that, but I have been in pain for as long as I can remember. I used to have horrible pains in my legs, muscles, and I had muscle knots before I even knew what they were. And it wasn't diet, exercise, or anything I was doing wrong. I thought it was normal, though, because my Mother experienced similar pains and problems that I did. I would rub her back and work on the knots, and she would massage me pains away the best she could.
And I hated it, I really did.
I would cry for hours sometimes. Cry and scream about, "What's wrong with me?!" and "Why can't I just be normal like all the other kids?!?!"... It was difficult. I can't imagine holding your small child while they're crying in pain, knowing that there's nothing you can do to ease it or take it away. I can't imagine the strength it takes to be a mother with a chronically ill child. I can't imagine how many times my father had to hold her while she cried over it all.
While my Dad worked very hard to put food on the table and a roof over our heads, my Mom raised us at home (She had odd jobs, mostly night time, especially when we were little). She always did the best she could to do everything to make sure we were happy and healthy. Being chronically ill herself, with the same condition, I know how strong of a person my Mother is. To raise two children, one with a mental disorder and one with a physical one...I have no words. I really don't...
When I was older, and finally found out what was wrong with me, so many things started to make sense. My injuries, and so many of my lifelong symptoms were now explained in this diagnosis. And so were my Mom's.
Having EDS can feel very isolating at times. Chronic pain has a horrid effect on your body and especially your mind, and not everyone is able to understand that. I have lost a lot of friends because of this. But I know that no matter how bad things get, no matter what hurts or what surgery I need and when, I know that I have my Mom.
She is here, fighting with me every single day. Holding me when I'm in pain and crying, taking care of me when nobody else can, wiping away my tears and telling me that it will all be okay.
I honestly don't know what I would do without her. I don't know that I would have been mentally capable of handling this alone. My Mom is my sunshine, my Angel and my heart. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever known.
So there's that. :)
I am incredibly thankful for my Mommy.
