In the past 24 hours SG has featured TWO of my blogs on the FP! I'm so amazingly happy, this couldn't have been more perfectly timed with my second set coming out on Friday! I'm sorry if I'm annoying you guys with the reminders about it, I'm just trying to spread the word on all my social media sites as much as possible! Here is the reason I am here. The reason I want this SO DAMN BAD...
I first found out about SG about 6 years ago. I knew that I always wanted to be one, ALWAYS, but had so many struggles with depression, self harm, and image issues. I knew who I was, who I wanted to be, but everyone around me hated it. They hated my hair, and clothes, and they even told me FREQUENTLY about how much they hated my face. I was an outcast with a small group of other high school weirdos. When I would come home and cry, my father (Who didn't understand when I was younger but now is very loving, supportive, and understanding) would tell me if I didn't want to be made fun of I shouldn't make myself a target. So basically...Blend in, and nobody will fuck with you. This made me really angry, and I started lashing out at school and fighting back when people would bully me. I got in screaming raging fights with people, and the teachers never did a thing. I was very angry for a long, long time. And I turned to self harm to deal with it. But I wouldn't change that experience for the world, because I feel like I wouldn't be who I am or where I am today had I not had those experiences. And, honestly, I really do love myself. It's been a hard journey to get to this point, but because of incredible people like you who have supported my dreams and backed me up when I needed it, I feel so elated. So lucky. So beautiful and wonderful about myself and my life.
I still have bad days. Days full of pain and anger and "Why me?!"'s. I still feel depressed sometimes. But from a day to day stand point...I'm doing so well. I haven't self harmed in two years now. I've learned coping techniques, and am learning meditation now. I've found peace within myself and love for myself.
I want to travel, to create art with people and to surround myself with other creators. I want to, hopefully, influence people's lives in a positive way through each interaction. And I really, truly feel like SG can be a gateway for me. Hell, it already has been!
I'll post some photos later today! I hope everyone is having an amazing morning.
