stormsinger

Being Piscean, I ponder. It's the absolute worst thing for me to do 'cause I tend to be rather dark a lot of the time. 'specially lately.

I just got off the phone with my best friend (who I call Doc {long story}) and I realized, during our conversation, that the reason I've been falling in and out of "love" so easily lately is that I'm trying to convince myself that I can live without her. I don't fall into actual love easily. And it's far harder for me to fall out again. She's been gone from me for 9 months now and I still have to fight tears when I wake up in the morning and she's not there. I've been told that she'll come back to me this month. I hope that it's true. I don't know what I'll do if it is, though.

They tell me that I have to move on. That she's not good for me. Not right. I think, know, believe that they're wrong. Even if they aren't, I don't care.

So I've sat here, pondering, and I realize that I love her just as much today as the last time I kissed her goodbye. More, actually. I know it was just yesterday that I said my love for her was fading. It isn't. I knew then that it wasn't, but I was trying to convince myself. Seems I'm able to convince almost anyone of almost anything except me.