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stormsinger

Tulsa/OKC

Member Since 2006

Followers 29 Following 178

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Sunday Jun 29, 2008

Jun 29, 2008
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Don't get your hopes up for multiple daily blog postings. Doesn't usually happen. I'm just feeling particularly bloggy the last few days. I did this on my LJ every once in a while.

My last post I said something about my blogging here being superficial and staying away from the philosophical. Well, this one will kinda change that.

I've been spending quite a bit of time thinking lately. Thinking about the direction my life has turned. Thinking about how my social situation is different than it used to be. Thinking about whether or not that's a good thing. See... the things that I've got going right now, the things that I'm enjoying, would be more than frowned upon by my family. I was raised very religious. We were taught that sex was a beautiful thing, but it wasn't to be advertised and certainly not discussed and never to be engaged in outside of marriage. Yet, here I am. A member for over two years of a website based on the discussion and display of things sexual. Yes, there is a social element here too, I realize that, but it's based around the girls and the groups that have grown up around them. There was a time when I wouldn't have even considered being a member of such a group. Now, though, I can't imagine myself not being a member of something like this. As I said in one of my earlier posts, I'm seriously looking into working security at a club here in town. My mother would just die if she knew that.

Which brings me to my point... where do these two parts of my life meet? I know that my family will not accept this part of me. They were horrified when I told them that I'd been seeing a married woman for over a year. Things like that just weren't expected of their Saint. I wonder about my "fall from grace" sometimes. I wonder whether the "grace" I basked in was even a real thing. That, however, is a story for another posting... Let me reign this back in before I digress even further... Do I let on about my "extracurricular activities"? Or do I keep them a secret? Does keeping these things secret make me a hypocrite? Does it even matter anymore?

An old friend texted me today: "Heya, Preacher, just wondering how you're doing. Haven't talked to you in a while. Hit me back." Wow. If he only knew.

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